it's been a while..

hmm..it's been a while since i posted in my blog..wanna know why? cause, i just recently learned that i'm incapable of blogging... its' like this:

• i forgot all about our html lessons in high school. i don't know why. it just disappeared from my brain and never came back. because of this, i see my blog as pathetic..
• another thing is, i can't blog regularly. if i do, i'll go bankcrupt. haay...
• also, i feel so stupid when i read other people's blogs. they write so well and use so much deep words that sometimes i feel like this blog thing is just too hard for me to do.

but since i already have a blog, i'll just write i guess. no one would read it but me anyway.. and yah, maan, so far...

what's happenin' in my life? here are a few:

• i flunked my chem 17 quizzes. the second part. i was sad. really... i tried, but i guess, it wasn't hard enough. next time.. if there is a next time..
• i just passed my physics 71 long exam. i say just passed cause the passing grade is 22. my grade, 22. it's depressing, really. it could've been easy if my prof wasn't that woman!! grrr.. i hate her cause she teaches as if she's talking to herself and as if we got what she just said in a jumble of incomprehensible words. grr...
• i love english classes. it makes me think of life if i wear born earlier. i also like our prof. he's so into teaching us that whenever he speaks, you could feel his excitement in his voice like electricity is flowing from him to you. it's really spellbinding.=)
• i got 92% on my math long exam. yah,yah, i'm happy. but i realized that i could've done beter. know why? cause i freakin' forgot that time cannot be negative. stupid right? duh!!=p
• the dorm had it's wacky day last tuesday. you had to wear a weird costume for the whole day. i went as a mad scientist. =p i wore my enormous lab gown, tied my hair up in a really messy fashion, and wore a necktie with my white collared blouse. hehe.=) it was funny. there was even a guy who dressed up as miriam defensor complete with wig, skirt and stockings. and the miriam voice too.=)
• last night, saturday, was the open house of our dorm. hehe. it wasn't as boring as i thought it would be. i had fun going around the dorm. looking at the corridors. all corridors were decorated with effort.=) anyway, i just had fun. but honestly, it could've been better. and that's when i realized howmuch i miss my friends..

here's a separate paragraph that i dedicate solely to my best friends in the world: ecce signum

here's to the people whom i love so much. they make me laugh, smile, cry, hate, grin, hug, kiss, jump, dance, sing, and almost anything that can be done in this world, these people have made me do it already. their the best people anyone could meet and i've been so fortunate to keep them even until now.

• karen- the ever sweetest person you could ever know. she smiles as if the world is the happiest place in the universe. with her, it seems that there sould be no sadness and pain. she's always there and always cares. sometimes talks of people you barely know, but worry not! you'll get to know these people thru her eyes sooner rather than later. she's a softy but definitely a toughy.
• maan- the ultimate queen. rides her car as if she owns the road. haha! but fear not, she's a better driver than my dad. knows how i feel even if i don't say it and even if she can't see me. she keeps her friends as if there were no more people left in the world. she loves her life soo much that it makes you love your life too, even if it seems too cruel to you. she lightens up darkness that comes your way. she's that great person you should envy but just couldn't cause you love her too much.
• lex- one of the most beautiful people i know. inside and out. she's a really myterious person that makes me wonder far too often but then realize that what she wants to say has been staring at you the whole time. she has an incredibly happy persona that i wonder why i never got closer sooner. she's the ultimate chocolate since she perks you up and makes you happy so much. she's really emotional yet so understanding. she may be naughty and harsh sometimes but that doesn't lessen her at all. she's one hell of a friend you'll definitely keep.
• laine- a person full of wisdom. tell her anything you want and she's there to listen. any problems you have, she can give you the most sound advice out there. she loves her friends a lot and we love her too. a genuine person. she doesn't mess with anyone. a girl with a very beautiful voice that sings what's in her heart and tells the world. a great person and even greater friend.
• james- the funniest person i know. makes me laugh so much that sometimes, i think i've lost my voice. he's a really great person. really intellectual. he has this soft side he doesn't show but i'm greatful he's shown to me. sincere in everything he does. maybe too wacky sometimes but still keeps his head on when the situation calls for it. really emotional but still could keep up with himself. one of the greatest buddy out there.
• koi- haha!! the ultimate comic. he could imitate anyone he knows. really smart too. but don't be fooled. he may be smart but he's also super social. he likes to be around people but he also keeps to himself a lot. i've only seen him cry a few times but it's enough for me to know that he has his heart in the right place. he loves us so much and we love him too. just don't let him go on about how you look. kiddin'.
• styx- our jetsetter. haha! seriously, he seems so far now that we miss him all so much. he's one heck of a guy. he talks, walks, acts and even breathes as if he knew everything there is to know. but hey, he does know a lot. he could defend himself so well that if he were an army, he would be the greatest army out there. he packs one hell of an offense too. mess with him and his reason and you'll surely wish you hadn't. but know what, even if he's like that, he's one of the sweetest guys i know. if he were candy, i'd buy him all. he's a really caring person..he just shows it with flair.

hmm..there goes my tribute to my 7 best friends. luck me right?=)

well, now that i've told the world how much i love them, now i'll tell you how much i love him:

rhems. that comlab partner that i hated so much... i dunno what happened but i guess that's why everything exists in duality. darkness comes with light. bad comes with good. sadness comes with hapiness. and hate comes with love. but i couldn't really say i hated him. i was just probably pissed. anyway, we started out as enemies, eventually became friends. we got close. shared stuff: words, time, space, and feelings. as time spent with him continued, i found myself slowly falling for him. his dumb look, his funny grin, his sweetness, his compelling eyes, his absurd comments, his love for words, his irritating accent, his weirdness, his laugh, him. i fell for him. and i guess i'm still falling. you could say we went through this as if it were a drama series. hell, my friends think it would be a great idea to make our story a drama series. it had lots of twist, turns, obstacles and pains. but we got through all that. and now were here. it's us. and i'm happy. we're not exactly having the time of our lives right now, being far from each other and all that. but we still feel it. i still feel it. that falling sensation whenever i think of him. all those times we were together. hmm.. you might think i'm being dramatic, but i guess i love him. well, we can't really define love so we'll never know what it certainly is. but all i can say is, i won't let him go. and that's why i say i love him.

wow.. this entry has turned into a pouring of my emotions.. tomorrow's valentine's day. i hope everyone's happy. if not, put a smile on your face and be happy.=) days like this only come once a year. cherish it.=) cherish the love you have for everyone out there.=) and be happy you're capable of loving.=)

~jans