******

first time i saw him, i was apprehensive
i'm not a friendly person and i guess he felt that
he knew i didn't really like him and yet he was nice
but a bitch like me never even gave him a chance

i tried to change but yet i was still cold
he knew what i was so he kept a distance
he did what was to be done and i just sat there
we were a team of two with me at the bench

i achieved peace of mind and became warmer
he gave me a chance and became closer
we talked a lot and shared stuff
we slowly drifted together

outside forces tried to pry us apart
they would've succeeded, i dunno why they didn't
we were meant to be, we are not
this is unknown, it's hard to tell

he wasn't my type but oddly i liked him
i guess him too with his affirmative reaction
we never planned it to be but good things are never planned
that is what happened and that was what happened

random thoughts..

the look of love..
a sense of loss..
staring blankly into space..
walking the road..
climbing that wall..
destroying that bridge..
killing the evil..
preserving the good..
living the life..
laughing off the day..
smiling to the universe..
exploring the world..
discovering the past..
making a future..
mixing reality..
aliquoting thy weirdness..
flying to and fro..
dreaming a dream..
staying awake..
scratching the surface..
digging in deep..
hiking back up..

a man and a dog

((got this from somewhere. nice story. really.))

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side ofthe road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like Mother of Pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?" "This is Heaven, sir," the man answered. "Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked. "Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have somei ice water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open. "Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked. "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets." The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book. "Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?" "Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there ". The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in." "How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog. "There should be a bowl by the pump." They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them. "What doyou call this place?" the traveler asked. "This is Heaven," he answered. "Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the roadsaid that was Heaven, too." "Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell." "Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?" "No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen out the folks who'll leave their best friends behind."

ecce signum is love

sabi nga ni ka, ecce signum is love.. pero pwede din:

james is love

karen is love

koi is love

laine is love

lex is love

maan is love

styx is love

hehe.. i really miss you guys.. thanks for everything.. *hug*

smile

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy." ~Thich Nhat Hanh

So, to everyone, keep smiling and be happy!!=)

i don't know why

..i made this poem four years ago, when i was in second year high school.. the first person who read it was karen.. hehe.. hmm.. i sure do miss the good old days.. when friendship was sweet and pure and life was complicated yet simple..

~~~

i don't know why i can't
can't find the person to
to love me for the rest of my life
and for me to love him too

i don't know why love can't
can't find me on the road
and pick me up, for me to have
a person beside me too

i don't know why i keep
keep looking for the one
the one who'd make me feel needed
cared for, loved and heeded

i guess that i'll just sit
and wait for him to see
that i am all alone
and i need him right here with me

hanggang kailan by orange and lemons

((whee..ka-relate ang loka..))



Labis na naiinip
Nayayamot sa bawat saglit
Kapag naaalala ka
Wala naman akong magawa...

Umuwi ka na baby
Di na ako sanay ng wala ka
Mahirap ang mag-isa
At sa gabi'y hinahanap hanap kita...

Hanggang kailan ako maghihintay
Na makasama kang muli
Sa buhay kong puno ng
Paghihirap
At tanging ikaw lang ang
Pumapawi sa mga luha at
Naglalagay ng ngiti sa mga labi...

Di mapigilang mag-isip
O baka sa tagal
Mahulog ang loob mo sa iba
Nakaka balisa
Knock on wood wag naman sana...

Umuwi ka na baby
Di na ako sanay ng wala ka
Mahirap ang mag-isa
At sa gabi'y hinahanap hanap kita...

Hanggang kailan ako maghihintay
Na makasama kang muli
Sa buhay kong puno ng
Paghihirap
At tanging ikaw lang ang
Pumapawi sa mga luha
Naglalagay ng ngiti sa mga labi...

we shouldn't be in school

~let's get out of this prison and set free our mind to the world..(what did i just say?)

an english, tagalog, bisaya and weirdly grammared entry..and probably some wrong spellings too..

di ko talaga gets. ewan ko lang if its because di ako sanay o i was brought up to be like this. i mean, hindi man ako nagasabi na mali yun or anything.. pero, ewan ko. i don't get it. hindi ko na talaga maintindihan ang kabataan ngayon (haha.. i sound like a lola..=p)..

i mean, when it comes to relationships, para bang wala nang bukas! bakit? may ilang years pa po tayo. bakit parang nagmamadali ang mga tao. uyab dito, uyab doon. haay..grabe na ang youth.. tapos, kung anu-anong ginagawa. ok, i can't stop them all but i was just hoping they won't make rash decisions. think it over a few million times before deciding on anything.. sad kasi ang nagiging situation kung padalos-dalos..

tapos, sa lifestyle, ewan. in fairness, kinda ganito din ako minsan pero bakit parang wasted na lang lagi ang mga tao.. ewan.. it's as if life is too short that it should be spent in bars with booze, smoke at kung anu-ano pang mga bagay..haay.. feeling ko din i feel this way kasi i'm ignorant of it.. pero, like i said, i'm not trying to stop anybody.. i just want you all to think..

tapos, why does it seem that the dark, dirty, evil side of life seems to be the cool thing now? diba? pansin niyo? ewan.. observation lang.. it's like being unique, weird, dark, gloomy and broken is the norm. parang being unique is so "in" that it becomes common.. ewan ko ba..

and, pansin ko din, that the world is too deep in the shit and muck of dirt that we seem to be specks of dust ourselves..

haay..and here's where this entry ends..

death..

i've always been intrigued of death.. how it would feel to slip out of your body when you die.. i wanna know if all those stories are true.. will you see your body as you float above it? will you get to see your friends and family for the last time? will your last words be meaningful enough to be remembered? i dunno.. why does it feel sad when you know someone died even if you never knew the person? are we all really bounded by a single thread that breaks for a moment when someone passes away? but one thing's for sure.. i'll be answering these questions sooner or later.. cause we all have our time.. i just hope that before the end we could live.. not just exist..

ironic

~the perfect description of life...=p

ironic (alanis morissette)

an old man turned ninety-eight
he won the lottery and died the next day
it's a black fly in your Chardonnay
it's a death row pardon two minutes too late
and isn't it ironic...dontcha think

it's like rain on your wedding day
it's a free ride when you've already paid
it's the good advice that you just didn't take
who would've thought...it figures

mr. play it safe was afraid to fly
he packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
he waited his whole damn life to take that flight
and as the plane crashed down he thought
"well isn't this nice..."
and isn't it ironic...dontcha think

it's like rain on your wedding day
it's a free ride when you've already paid
it's the good advice that you just didn't take
who would've thought...it figures

well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
when you think everything's okay and everything's going right
and life has a funny way of helping you out when
you think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
in your face

a traffic jam when you're already late
a no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
it's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
it's meeting the man of my dreams
and then meeting his beautiful wife
and isn't it ironic...dontcha think
a little too ironic...and yeah I really do think...

it's like rain on your wedding day
it's a free ride when you've already paid
it's the good advice that you just didn't take
who would've thought...it figures

life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
helping you out

i'm pissed..

i'm pissed..

i dunno why..

it really isn't his fault he can't call..

it also isn't his fault he can't answer my call cause he's asleep..

but i'm still pissed..

i dunno..

i probably feel neglected..

or i'm just pouring my bad feelings on him cause i just lost my phone today..

or i'm just plainly pissed cause i felt that he was clearly pissed at me for calling at midnight..

well, i'm sorry if midnight is just like noon for me..

argh..

i dunno..

i know, i know, i'm clearly at a wrong here but i just can't freakin' help it if i'm pissed..

argh..

i'm going to sleep..

so i won't be pissed anymore..

hmm..

just don't think much of this..

just posting cause i can't think of any other way to relieve this fucked up feeling of being pissed at someone..

well..

goodnight world..

oversleeping yet still underslept...

hahaha!!! i'm in my room in the dorm right now, and you know, i just skipped my chemistry lecture class.. i kinda feel sad about it.. it's because i didn't really mean to skip it. i have an hour and a half break before that class and going back here, i slept. i alarmed my phone at about 15minutes before the time. when it rang, i just looked at it and snoozed it. when it alarmed again at about 5mnutes before the time, i turned it off and slept on. i woke up around 2:37pm. thinking that i'm already 7 minutes late and it would take me about 15 minutes to get there, i just slept on. and now, i'm awake.. and i kinda regret not going to class.. what if they had a quiz? or they were given an assignment? well, assignments are easy to get.. but a quiz?! what if... hmm, but i was thinking, what the heck?!? i can't do anything about it anyway. i'll just have to go there next time.=) haayyy.. i dunno.. which gets me on the topic of oversleeping and undersleeping..=)

i really don't get why when a person who sleeps for more than 8-10 hours still feels like he hasn't slept at all. diba? weird.. and, not sleeping for at least 8 hours, obviously, you'll feel really sleepy. hmm.. why was sleeping time made to be 8-10 hours? watcha think? hehe. i know, this is turning out to be nonsense blabbing but i what i just don't get is why when i sleep for about 12 hours, i feel like i only slept for 6 hours and i need to sleep more? i guess too much of something is bad enough (thank you spice girls.^,^).

hahaha!! i still feel underslept..=p