best i ever had..

ok.. so i looked for the lyrics of gray sky morning and i realized that it's not so applicable to me but the first stanza hits the spot. haha.=p here it is..

so you sailed away/ into a gray sky morning/ now i'm here to stay/ love can be so boring/ nothing's quite the same now/ i just say your name now/ but it's not so bad/ you're only the best i ever had/ you don't want me back/ you're just the best i ever had/ so you stole my world/ now i'm just a phony/ remembering the girl/ leaves me down and lonely/ send it in a letter/ make yourself feel better/ but it's not so bad/ you're only the best i ever had/ you don't want me back/ you're just the best i ever had/ and it may take some time to/ patch me up inside/ but i can't take it so i/ run away and hide/ and i may find in time that/ you were always right/ you're always right/ so you sailed away/ into a gray sky morning/ now i'm here to stay/ love can be so boring/ what was it you wanted/ could it be i'm haunted/ but it's not so bad/ you're only the best i ever had/ i don't want you back/ you're just the best i ever had/ the best i ever had/ the best i ever...

so there.. hehe.. i miss him.. =)

so, he flew away..

hmm..i'm trying to remember the rest of the song..you know the song?

"so you sailed away/into a gray sky morning/________ to say/love can be so boring.."

that song..anyway, i watched him go through immigration and the boarding gate and getting his luggage scanned..and then i saw him disappear behind a wall..and that's the last of it..i didn't cry..was that bad?..i got teary eyed when he called me and when i was watching him go but so far, i haven't cried yet..koi asked me if i were being numb or something..maybe..i dunno..but i haven't cried and that's all i know..i didn't think of him last night while i was out with my friends..i thought of him before i slept this 6am..i remembered when i woke up..but i'm not crying..maybe because i know he'll be back..and i know we're still together..and i know we'll still see each other through the internet..i know there won't be any late night strolls..or my daily ration of kisses..but i know he'll be back..and maybe that's what matters..

advice

now i realize that what i've been doing to other people has been irritating and uncalled for. now that i'm having depression or attachment problems, people have been giving me advice on how to cope and how to be better and to "cheer up". my point is, i'm sad because i have a reason to be sad so no amount of advice or "cheering up" is gonna make me feel better until i tell myself to feel better. *sigh* i guess all those years of giving unasked-for advice was irritating for the people i gave them to. sorry everyone. so my message is, if i want advice, i'll ask for it.

i dunno if i'm just being emotional, sentimental, depressed or being a loner but i've been getting pissed at many people lately. and it's all because of one thing. since people already know that jon's going to the states, people have been either asking me when he's going or if he's gone already. and i hate it when they give me this insincere look and response. a few people would go "awww" with fake sad eyes. others would do the "awww" thing then laugh. you know what? just don't respond. if you're just giving me fake and insincere "it must be sad" or "i know how it feels", don't. i don't need your sympathy. i need real friends who'd be there, just be there when i'm sad. don't tell me that "one year is just a short time", just shut up, ok? all i need are people who'd be there. just that. i miss ecce signum..

friends, drama mode na ba dapat ako?

sa june 21 na ang alis nila jon to... *drumroll* ...san diego, california!!=p ayun, mag-migrate na sila dun. na approve na kasi sila and they have to be gone before june 27 or else cancelled lahat. so, ayun, alis na sila sa june 21, 2008, saturday yan ha.=p tapos, may weird ako na classmates na nagtatanong bakit di daw ako nagdadrama. hindi pa man dapat diba? sayang ang mga araw kung mag-oa na ako. right? right!=p anyway, sa june 21 na lang ako magdadrama. kaya to my friends (shout out to: karen, koi, ren, siao, bry and james, who by the way is in taguig) labas naman tayo sa june 21 eh. pagkatapos ko ihatid yung mokong sa airport. nyahaha. hindi lagi ako magdrama masyado. kaya nga kelangan ko lumabas eh.=) so, help me my dear friends..=) and place to crash din pala after. hahahaha.=p *mwah* miss you all!!!