jAnSaniTy

***

2012-01-22T01:00:00.002+08:00

i'll always have feelings for you.
i'll always love you.
i'll always be there for you.

i'm sorry.
sorry that i don't show any of what i just said.
i hope you forgive me.
and give me the chance to be a better person to you.
because you're the only person who ever believed i could be.

THANK YOU

2011-12-17T13:51:00.002+08:00

- AWESOME brother and sister who amaze and inspire me in so many ways
- old friends who despite the distance, are still the same people i hang out with
- new-found friends who accepted me with no judgement
- EDC for letting me stay for 9 months, so far, and has taught me to strive and succeed
- DAVAO CITY for being the BEST CITY EVER <3
- Lord, for giving me life and days like this.

Merry CHRISTmas. :)

whining

2011-12-02T08:42:00.002+08:00

honestly.
as of this moment.
i.
hate.
this.
place.

i whine and shit about not being able to go and just take a day off. and i was told why shouldn't i just take a sick leave. i am sick anyway. but really?? do you honestly believe i could not go to work and still not be expected some output? any output?

there is always work.
it'll never change.
there will always be a problem that needs a solution.
and we always have to be the ones to give the solution.

most of the time, i wonder why anyone takes this job. though i figure, they probably don't know what they got themselves into. it's no wonder the "hiring rate" and the "career advancement opportunity" is high in this department. people tend to leave earlier than usual.

work

2011-11-28T09:35:00.002+08:00

whenever i get to the office, i feel like all the things i have to do are weighing down on me. but when i get home and assess things, i feel like i could handle them all.

i wonder if i'm just more relaxed at home or work just sucks. hahaha.

.

2011-10-24T20:51:00.002+08:00

actually tired of my life.
ha.
maybe someone would be happy about this.

-

2011-10-15T22:57:00.001+08:00

yes.
i love you.
but sometimes,
i feel like you're trapping me
choking me
trying to stop me from being happy.
it's over.
let it go.
it made scars,
left a lot of pain,
but it didn't kill you.
so live.

sighing

2011-09-12T22:40:00.001+08:00

stressed.

tired.

defeated.

if death weren't so final, i'd be open to it.

:(

2011-09-02T12:47:00.001+08:00

apparently, friendship isn't as important to other people than it is to me.

... and that just sucks.

24 v1.0

2011-08-15T13:56:00.003+08:00

the chilly morning air
arriving in a dim, empty office
napping while waiting
unnoticed yet glorious landscapes
lunch that reminded of home
blue birds flying in the sky
walking on green pipes
eating freshly baked bread
water jumping up high
writing in the rain
looking for a spot to pee
the bright and amazing moon
sleeping in a car
the glory of Sunday mornings
scavenging for breakfast
repeated self-braiding trials
a hundred birds perched
home stretch silence

eating my words

2011-08-05T15:39:00.000+08:00

apparently, i wrote something in june of 2007 that i am now gonna have to take back. :P

it was a blog about drinking. i stated that "and those people who say that they don't remember what they did and said when they got drunk, don't believe them. everyone remembers what they did. they just use alcohol as an excuse to forget.." stupid me. hahaha!

i now know that there are actually times you don't remember what you did. i have had those. the black-out moments of crazy nights in college. they actually do happen. the blank parts of your memory wherein you wonder what occured. haha.

p.s. but i do still believe that you do know what you are doing even when you are drunk. you may not remember them but it does not mean that you did not want to do what you did. because whatever you do when you are drunk is something you have just been holding back.

slow day

2011-08-05T15:04:00.003+08:00

sleep in
lone walk
minimal chatter
less typing
reduced thinking
people out
no requirements
warm coffee
heavy downpour
occasional email
empty ride

thinking

2011-08-02T01:12:00.003+08:00

leads to:

remembering

feeling

dreaming

recreating

wishing

hoping

wanting

waiting

ends in:

disappointment

not enough

2011-07-24T18:20:00.002+08:00

it's tiring trying to please everyone.

work requires me to be someone who knows everything.

family needs me to be independent but still go home frequently.

friends want me to go where they are, to go out and catch up.

romantic relationships tell me i'm not open and sacrificial enough.

strangers tell me i'm too young or too old with the way i look.

is it not possible to accept people as they are?

do you really need to keep changing them?

Whirl

2011-07-22T14:31:00.002+08:00

* i've no idea when i wrote this in my work notebook.. :P

Sleepy like a dead girl
Need to dance and twirl
Need to not go and hurl
When giving my life a whirl

* catchy, neh? :)

captured

2011-07-14T11:49:00.003+08:00

standing specters
mountains apart

seen from afar
chained together

immobile, trapped
still, without thoughts

yet electric
emanating

movement thwarted
or else fury

liberation
recon the force

*wrote this on the bus last june 24 while on my way home from work. slightly edited from the original. not my best work but i'm happy to be writing again. :)

work

2011-07-14T11:38:00.001+08:00

i never thought i'd feel this much satisfaction on knowing that we actually achieved our overtime objective. haha!

sad

2011-05-30T20:02:00.001+08:00

it's sad that most people think we broke up cause i messed up again..

but that's my fault..

it's just sad..

maybe it's a good thing

2011-05-29T23:42:00.001+08:00

i don't know what to feel..

sad.

because it's heartbreaking. and fucked up. knowing that if things were different, you'd still be together. it sucks that even if we still love each other and care for each other, it had to happen. because we really couldn't change the situation at this moment in time.

mad.

because we're stuck on opposite sides of the pacific and we can't do anything about it. why can't we just stay in one place. why did we have to be separated and be so far away. why can't we just be together.

empty.

because now i couldn't do the things i used to do. i couldn't share the things i used to share. i couldn't call him the nicknames i knew he loved. and he couldn't call me the nicknames i loved hearing. there's an empty space in my heart that i can't fill. i feel incomplete.

happy.

because now we have time to get things together. now we could figure out what we want to do with our lives without thinking of how it would change the other person's plans. we could grow and find the best versions of ourselves.

hopeful.

because maybe this isn't the end. maybe it's just a new chapter. or maybe it's to make way for better things. i dunno.

right now, i don't know what to feel.. and maybe that's a good thing..

unemployment

2011-01-24T22:20:00.001+08:00

'nuff said.

Bored

2011-01-05T11:53:00.000+08:00

Boredom is science
The curiosity on finding out why
Why we have to feel this
This slipping of consciousness
Consciousness we take for granted

Boredom is art
The creativity to find something to do
To do what the rest are refusing
Refusing to be free
Free of this numbness

Boredom is freedom
The carelessness to run wild
Wild through the field of dreams
Dreams we need to remember
Remember and live

employment

2010-12-02T19:03:00.002+08:00

hatred is coursing through my veins.

i hate this place. i don't know why i had to be led here. why did i even take this job? do they really expect me to stay here after all this shit? they sure are delusional.

i hate him. he acts so superior. he doesn't even give us a chance to explain. and he wonders why we don't get high grades? stupid.

i hate this. what's the point of getting paid if you don't even have the time to use the money anyway? argh! is it really so mysterious why everyone leaves when the time comes?

hatred is coursing through my veins. and it involves such a trivial issue.

dreams

2010-08-26T01:01:00.004+08:00

i was running. running as hard and as fast as i could. but during that final stretch, during the time that it mattered that i was ahead, my legs slowed down. it slowed down like i was in water. trying to run through water. and running through water is very hard.

i was fighting. fighting off an attacker. i was hitting him as hard as i can. with all my strength. but when i was about to hit him where it would hurt the most, i lost strength. like i was getting weak. tired of fighting. and that couldn't be cause that would be the end of me.

i see things.

a marsh inside a warehouse.

a war within a vast underground tunnel.

teeth, all bloody, falling from my mouth.

friends trying to defeat an evil villain.

i feel things.

a caress of a hand down my spine.

air, as i run and breathe it in.

a harsh grip as someone tries to stop me.

that tingling sensation when i know someone's watching.

i sense that they mean something. that i was meant to understand. maybe someday. but definitely not today.

an open letter to a friend

2010-05-26T01:15:00.004+08:00

we used to be such great friends.

i liked the fact that when something good happens to me, i get to tell somebody, even if you don't really react all that well. i know you're happy for me. and i've accepted that you don't really like showing deeper emotions on needless things.

i was always there for you. when you were troubled, i always try to show how much i care. i listen when you want to talk. i give advice whether you ask for it or not. i'm happy when you are happy. i'm excited when you are.

i know i was a crappy friend at that time. i don't know if you felt betrayed or disappointed then. i know you did your best in telling me to do the right thing. but i guess, what i wanted at that time was acceptance. or at least forgiveness after wards..

i want to be responsible for our falling out.. but i have to be honest.. you always pushed me away. you always pushed us away. every time you find someone, you leave us behind. you only look back at us when that someone has left you. i want to say that we were close until the day i betrayed/ disappointed you with my actions. but we weren't. we both know you cared less of me, of us, everyday since you found her. the only reason you were mad was because it was not the socially acceptable behavior.

i'm not really asking for much. i just want to be forgiven. i guess it was hard for you to find out that way. i guess it took you by surprise. i guess we really did betray you cause i gave you my word i wouldn't do anything stupid. i'm sorry.. but i guess i find it unfair that you never even tried to get my side of the story. you never even contemplated my loneliness. you just stuck to what you knew, and that was the social norm.

i miss you. i miss your laugh. i miss you making fun of me. i miss my friend.

we both had faults. me most of all. but i guess i thought you'd understand me, even if what i did was wrong.

nowhere

2010-02-24T21:13:00.002+08:00

i'm lost going nowhere.

that's what i said. my mom called, asking me what it was about. i told her it was nothing. i just laughed it off. i was just being silly, i said. but really? am i?

i am lost.. and it seems that i got lost while i was on my way to nowhere.

is that even possible? how am i supposed to be found now? how do i go back on the road to somewhere when i've no idea where i am nor do i have the idea to go back to that road to nowhere?

i try to find excuses for my actions. for this road i chose to take. but there is no excuse. everything i say to defend myself just sounds lame. and if i fail to take that road to somewhere and end up getting lost on my way to nowhere again, i fear that ka would stop having faith on me and give up on me completely.. and then i'd forever be lost.

68.2%

2009-11-18T09:59:00.000+08:00

so.. how does it feel to fail the chemical engineering licensure exams?

it hurt..
but it didn't really last.
i cried for 20 min then decided to move on.
i still got teary eyed for the next few days but i got over it.
now,
i still hurt..
but it's just a deeper pain that doesn't really show on the outside.
it happens when you congratulate your friends or when you see those passing lists posted somewhere..
of course i'm happy for them, but i'm sad for myself.
hehe.

the moment eula texted me, "may results na.." panic.
grabe.
then the moment of truth..
*heart squeeze*
pagtingin sa "a", wala yung dapat andun?!
wala na..
hindi ko na nahintay ang "j"..
umiyak na ko.
kung wala siya sa list, malamang wala na din ako.
and yep.
wala nga.

in fairness, buti positive padin ako.
alam ko namang hindi ako tanga.
hindi lang siguro ako ganun ka-prepared.
or malas lang sa biochem.
i guess alam ni Lord na hindi pa dapat.
kulang pa daw ako sa kaalaman.
hehe.
ang kidder talaga ni Lord..

pero salamat..
sa mga magulang ko na ang sabi ay "ok lang yan. try na lang ulit."
sa friends ko na sabi "kaya mo yan jans. may next time pa."
sa kapatid ko na sabi "ate? ok ka lang?"
at sa sarili ko na laging sinasabing "may april pa. i'll be better."
hahahaha!
salamat ng marami. :)

anyway, gusto ko lang mang galing sakin na di ako pumasa.
but don't worry, malalagay din sa newspaper ang pangalan ko sa april.
yeba!
:D

-jans

bigyan niyo kami ng internet!!

2009-07-24T14:32:00.000+08:00

wah!! ilang buwan na ako hindi nakaka-net ng matino!

di ko man lang mabasa yung mga online comics na inaabangan ko.. (mga 20+ din yun)

di ko lang man ma-check ang accounts ko regularly.. (mail, friendster, facebook, multiply)

di man lang ako maka-chat sa mga tao.. (namimiss ko na ang mga taong gising ng early morning)

di man lang ako maka-aksaya ng oras sa net! hahaha!

haaayy.. please naman, bigyan niyo na kami ng net. maawa kayo.. :(

ps. mahirap maging pulubi.. bow.

pps. wah!! nakakamiss mag blog ng may sense!

ppps. eto ay isang blog na walang sense.

pppps. inuman na!!

ppppps. namimiss ko na sumayaw, mag wall climbing at mag swimming. weeeh... mahirap maging bum. whoo!

***

2009-03-27T07:11:00.000+08:00

asshole

rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock

2009-03-11T13:00:00.000+08:00

"Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock. It's very simple. Look --
scissors cuts paper
paper covers rock
rock crushes lizard
lizard poisons Spock
Spock smashes scissors
scissors decapitates lizard
lizard eats paper
paper disproves Spock
Spock vaporizes rock
and as it always has, rock crushes scissors."

-- Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory Episode 8 Season 2, The Lizard-Spock Expansion

*

2009-03-08T22:41:00.002+08:00

why do i always give up?.. i lack faith.. hope.. certainty.. in almost everything i do.. i know i "go with the flow".. but sometimes, actually i think most of the time, i just lack courage.. i'm too much of a chickenshit to do anything about my life and the things that happen in it.. i nees to be taught a good lesson on courage.. and belief.. and risks.. i need to be a better person..

* just a reflection

Numerology: What Your Name Means (Part 2)

2009-01-29T18:18:00.000+08:00

sabi kasi ni alex try ko daw na may middle name.=p o dodo, mas okay ba to or di padin kapanipaniwala?=p hehe.=p
------------------------------------

You entered: Jansell Loseo Jamero

There are 18 letters in your name.
Those 18 letters total to 66
There are 8 vowels and 10 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 3

The characteristics of #3 are: Expression, verbalization, socialization, the arts, the joy of living.

The expression or destiny for #3:
An Expression of 3 produces a quest for destiny with words along a variety of lines that may include writing, speaking, singing, acting or teaching; our entertainers, writers, litigators, teachers, salesmen, and composers. You also have the destiny to sell yourself or sell just about any product that comes along. You are imaginative in your presentation, and you may have creative talents in the arts, although these are more likely to be latent. You are an optimistic person that seems ever enthusiastic about life and living. You are friendly, loving and social, and people like you because you are charming and such a good conversationalist. Your ability to communicate may often inspire others. It is your role in life to inspire and motivate; to raise the spirits of those around you.

The negative side of number 3 Expression is superficiality. You may tend to scatter your forces and simply be too easygoing. It is advisable for the negative 3 to avoid dwelling on trivial matters, especially gossip.

Your Soul Urge number is: 8

A Soul Urge number of 8 means:
With an 8 soul urge, you have a natural flair for big business and the challenges imposed by the commercial world. Power, status and success are very important to you. You have strong urges to supervise, organize and lead. Material desires are also very pronounced. You have good executive abilities, and with these, confidence, energy and ambition.

Your mind is analytical and judgment sound; you're a good judge of material values and also human character. Self-controlled, you rarely let emotions cloud judgment. You are somewhat of an organizer at heart, and you like to keep those beneath you organized and on a proper track. This is a personality that wants to lead, not follow. You want to be known for your planning ability and solid judgment.

The negative aspects of the 8 soul urge are the often dominating and exacting attitude. You may have a tendency to be very rigid, sometimes stubborn.

Your Inner Dream number is: 4

An Inner Dream number of 4 means:
You dream of being a very solid citizen that people can depend upon. You strive for organization and predictable order. You want to be recognized as a person with a plan and the discipline to make that plan work like clockwork.

Numerology: What Your Name Means

2009-01-29T10:21:00.000+08:00

nakita ko kay alex.. naintriga ako. hehe. hmm.. tama ba?
----------------

You entered: Jansell Jamero

There are 13 letters in your name.
Those 13 letters total to 45
There are 5 vowels and 8 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 9

The characteristics of #9 are: Humanitarian, giving nature, selflessness, obligations, creative expression.

The expression or destiny for #9:
The expression that you exhibit is represented by the number 9. Your talents center in humanistic interests and approaches. You like to help others as you were intended to be the 'big brother or big sister' type. You operate best when you follow your feelings and sense of compassion, and allow yourself to be sensitive to the needs of others. You work well with people, and have the potential to inspire. This suggests that you could successfully teach or counsel. Creative ability, imagination and artistic talent (often latent) of the highest order are present in this expression. It's possible that you're not using or developing all of these capabilities at this time. Some of your talents may have been used at an earlier time in your life, and some may still be latent. Be aware of your capabilities, so that you can make use of them at appropriate times.

If you are able to achieve the potential of your natural expression in this life, you are capable of much human understanding and have a lot to give to others. Your personal ambitions are likely to be maintained in a very positive perspective, never losing sight of an interest in people, and a sympathetic, tolerant, broad-minded and compassionate point of view. You are quite idealistic, and disappointed at the lack of perfection in the world. You have a strong awareness of your own feeling as well as those of others. Friendships, affection, and love are extremely important.

Undeveloped or ignored, the negative side of the 9 expression can be very selfish and self-centered. If you do not actively involve yourself with work that benefits others, you may tend to express just the opposite characteristics. It is your role to be very involved with other people and their needs, but it may be difficult for you achieve this role. Aloofness, lack of involvement, and a lack of sensitivity mark the low road of this expression.

Your Soul Urge number is: 9

A Soul Urge number of 9 means:
With a 9 Soul Urge, you want to give to others, usually in a humanitarian or philanthropic manner. You are highly motivated to give friendship, affection and love. And you are generous in giving of your knowledge and experience. You have very sharing urges, and you are likely to have a great deal to share. Your concern for others makes you a very sympathetic and generous person with a sensitive and compassionate nature.

You are able to view life in very broad and intuitive terms. You often express high ideals and an inspirational approach to life. If you are able to fully realize the potential of your motivation, you will be a very self-sacrificing person who is able to give freely without being concerned about any return or reward.

As with all human beings, you are prone to sometimes express the negative attitudes inherent to your Soul Urges. You may become too sensitive and tend to express emotions strongly at times. There can be significant conflict between higher aims and personal ambitions. You may resent the idea of giving all of the time and, in fact, if there is too much 9 energy in your nature you may reject the idea. You may often be disappointed in the lack of perfection in yourself and others.

Your Inner Dream number is: 9

An Inner Dream number of 9 means:
You dream of being creative, intellectual, and universal; the selfless humanitarian. You understand the needy and want to help them. You would love to be a person people count on for support and advice.

-----------------------------
here's the link: PaulSadowski.com

How to destroy the Earth

2009-01-26T17:05:00.000+08:00

(by Sam Hughes)

Destroying the Earth is harder than you may have been led to believe.

You've seen the action movies where the bad guy threatens to destroy the Earth. You've heard people on the news claiming that the next nuclear war or cutting down rainforests or persisting in releasing hideous quantities of pollution into the atmosphere threatens to end the world.

Fools.

The Earth is built to last. It is a 4,550,000,000-year-old, 5,973,600,000,000,000,000,000-tonne ball of iron. It has taken more devastating asteroid hits in its lifetime than you've had hot dinners, and lo, it still orbits merrily. So my first piece of advice to you, dear would-be Earth-destroyer, is: do NOT think this will be easy.

This is not a guide for wusses whose aim is merely to wipe out humanity. I (Sam Hughes) can in no way guarantee the complete extinction of the human race via any of these methods, real or imaginary. Humanity is wily and resourceful, and many of the methods outlined below will take many years to even become available, let alone implement, by which time mankind may well have spread to other planets; indeed, other star systems. If total human genocide is your ultimate goal, you are reading the wrong document. There are far more efficient ways of doing this, many which are available and feasible RIGHT NOW. Nor is this a guide for those wanting to annihilate everything from single-celled life upwards, render Earth uninhabitable or simply conquer it. These are trivial goals in comparison.

This is a guide for those who do not want the Earth to be there anymore.

2009

2009-01-07T11:24:00.002+08:00

i wrote this last december 26, 2008.. only right now did i remember to post it.. haha!

~~~

this year has been really weird to me:
january - i was happy. celebrating my first anniversary with jon.
february - still happy. dorm open house with friends. valentine's day with jon.
march - panicking for finals and other academic deadlines. fun holy week with jon's family.
april and may - happy with summer classes and my time with myself. but sad since i lost my phone.
june - sad. found out that jon was leaving for california.
july - angry. questioning myself and other people at every turn.
august - depressed. felt like shit everyday. like i didn't matter to anyone.
september - lonely. everyone was busy.. no one wanted to be with me.. even for a while..
october - surprised. new found friends. they've been there actually, but never really got close til now..
november - learning to be happy. that there are people out there. and friends are everywhere!
december - happy but complicated. weird things happened to me and are still happening to me..

hmm.. it's been a whirlwind year. i experienced my lowest point this year. i realized how deep a hole i could dig myself into. but then, i also realized this year that to be happy, you had to make yourself happy. no one could make you happy but yourself. and friends are around you. you just have to open your door to let them in. hehehe. i've been blessed even if most of the time, i felt so cursed.

so for 2009, i'm actually excited! i want to make this year good. and nice. and cool. and happy. i won't make any resolutions since i'm just bound to break em. but i will try and make this year great. i've to right my wrongs and make people happy. and i've to make myself happy. hope is high for next year. well, at least for me.

~~~

i still feel that this year holds great opportunities for me.. or at least great moments in my life! whoo! belated happy new year!

2008-12-27T01:20:00.002+08:00

..hating myself in this season to be jolly..

falalalala-lala-la-la..

..i can be such a bitch most of the time..

5th ang ISENTROPES!!

2008-12-15T20:32:00.000+08:00

hehe. indakan kanina (dec. 15, 2008)!! theme: POSSE - 3 is not a crowd

ang band namin ay ang VENGABOYS!!

5TH KAMI!! ang saya saya! threat padin kami kahit papano. eto yung score and ranking para sa group competition:

1st - KEM (98.00)
2nd - IE Club (95.80)
3rd - CURSOR (94.60)
CIEM (93.20)
ALCHEMES (KAMI YUN!!) (87.40)
49ers (84.40)
Aggregates (83.20)
MSS (82.30)
GE Club (82.20)
ENG SOC (82.00)
ERG (78.47)
PSME (76.80)
Circuit (74.29)

wah!! ang may pictures, penge! calling ana! hingan mo naman kami ng pix dun sa friend mo sa aces.. hehe. =P WHOO!! UP UP ALCHEMES! ALCHEMES VENGA!! I LOVE YOU ISENTROPES!!

Colorgenics

2008-12-04T18:11:00.000+08:00

nakita ko sa site ni edward at ni jules. na-intriga ako.. hehe. =) hindi siya perfectly tama for me pero may mga right-on-target na descriptions.. ang galing.. naka-italicize yung mga feeling ko tama. hehe. =) watcha think?

Name: jansell
Date: 12/4/2008
Colorgenics Number: 43215607

Your mind is never at rest.You are continually striving to influence all those about you. You have some excellent ideas but you persist in trying to persuade others just how great your ideas really are. Maybe you are trying too hard. Take it easy - remember, 'Everything comes to those who wait'.

You are very orderly, methodical and self sufficient. You demand and need the respect, recognition and understanding of all those who enter into your sphere on influence.

Being a very proud individual, you tend to hold yourself aloof pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain and pleasure. This is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional individual, one that may make a hasty decision and perhaps regret it at leisure. It is time now to break the bond of detachment and be the 'you' that you would like to be - give vent to your emotions and enjoy yourself.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time. You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. So why procrastinate any longer - MOVE!

For the test, click here.

love criminal

2008-12-02T03:27:00.000+08:00

- from sinfest.net (11.28.08)

weird extended weekend

2008-11-25T08:16:00.000+08:00

friday - ren's birthday treat was cancelled; mau's board exam treat was also cancelled; impromptu gimik with the usual people (ayza, lila, dodo, thom, bart, dex, epi, rush, leian, louie), dinner and intense drinking.. hahahaha!
saturday - slept all day; woke up at 5pm to bry's pleas for gimik; ren's birthday treat suddenly materialized.. dinner at conti's and one fierce party at embassy!
sunday - went home from bry's at around 3pm; me time aka. eat and surf the net; suddenly being invited to go to the eat bulaga set
monday - woke up at around 7am to go with louie and ghe to eat bulaga; appeared on national tv with ghe while watching louie win contrapelo (?); experienced the flooded streets of gilmore; yellow cab late lunch; indakan practice in the rain.. fun!

..i dunno if you find it weird.. but i do. surreal ang weekend ko.. haha.

the big bang theory

2008-11-15T23:42:00.002+08:00

"so, lack of a physiological response while lying is characteristic of a violent sociopath." - sheldon cooper

..so i guess i'm one. beware.

"this would be so much easier if i were a violent sociopath." -leonard hofstadter

..i agree. things would indeed be easier.

inggitera

2008-11-05T21:30:00.003+08:00

for the whole sem break, everytime i was online, my sis and i always youtube-d for the latest season of so you think you can dance. and for all those times, i always wished i could do what they do... i love dancing. i love it. it was, is the main reason why i joined the org. but i always lacked the courage and the confidence to audition for anything... i wish i had classes before. i wish i knew more about it. i always felt that what i do with my dance is not enough... there's always something lacking... energy, passion, feelings... damn... i've always wished i could choreograph dances but the creativity in me seems to be lacking on that aspect... it's so frustrating. i can't even dance freestyle which is why i don't audition... so this sem, i vow to myself that for this indakan, i will do everything, everything to dance it like i've never done. i wish to overcome my limitations and to be better at this... so help me GOD... i don't think i can overcome them all at once but little steps will help...

ps. i do hope i find a ballroom dancing class near here... i really wanna learn more.

bonggang bongga

2008-11-04T04:36:00.000+08:00

mga bagay na napulot ko sa puerto princesa:
~walang taxi, tryke lang. yun ang taxi nila. parang manila din, nangongontrata.
~bumili ng jackets at vests sa men's section ng penshoppe. kung may small, kunin agad.
~maghanap ng mapupuntahan. kasi wala nang magawa.
~magshopping ng cabinet, kalan, shelf, plantsa, etc. yung iba binili talaga, yung iba tiningnan ang presyo.
~maghanap ng makakainan.
~matuto sabihin ang "bonggang bongga".
~dahil naaaliw sila sa "man" ng tagalog ng davao, nilalagay nila kahit saan. kahit hindi tama pakinggan.
~mahalin ang itoy's coffee shop. wifi, coffee, food. love.
~matuwa ng husto sa cakes.
~makayanan ang kakulitan at kabangagan ng kapatid ko.

ps. maganda ang campus ng psu (palawan state u). magkakadikit yung buildings though... parang flowing lang sila to each other. hehe. may part daw na beach side. di ko nakita. di ako dinala ni ninay eh. damn. pero wow ha, bonggang bongga!=P

..and i'm back in up again..

2008-11-03T20:09:00.000+08:00

so, from oct22 to nov3, andun ako sa puerto princesa, palawan. sa mga hindi alam, my sis (janille) studies there sa palawan state university. petroleum engineering. hehe. idol ko yun. bright masyado. psychotic nga lang most of the time but it's okay.=p anyway, wala masyado kami nagawa now that i think of it. weird nga eh.. kasi parang ang tagal ko dun. maganda yung dorm niya. super! parang compound ng mga one-room houses. so pretty! anyway, i stayed there the whole time. wala silang jeep, multicab lang daw. merong jeep actually pero konte lang. ang mga tryke ay parang taxi. hehe. maka-happy. pero like the taxis here in manila, over din sila mag presyo. demmet. walang mall, nccc na yung pinaka-mall. pero kahit minsan wala na mapuntahan, ok lang. maka-happy man dun. parang ka-laid back ng buhay. parang davao life ko dati pero mas laid back pa talaga. ayoko lang kasi naga-ulan kada-hapon/gabi. ayoko kasi ng putik. tsaka hindi bagay yung lifestyle dun sa mga late matulog at walang wheels. hahahahaha! kasi kung gabi ka lalabas, wala ka nang masasakyan.. so dapat may wheels ka.=p huhuhu... i'll miss my sister's room. inayos ko yun, leche. hahaha. i shall be back!=p next time sana dalhin na ko ni janille dun sa mga places na sabi niya (sa pool, baker's hill, etc.)

ps. enrollment na ulit... sana ma-3.0 ko na yung 4.0 ko sa 172. whooo!! wish me luck!=p

i'm in puerto princesa...

2008-10-23T10:51:00.000+08:00

...and my sis is super busy. haay... dami niyang dapat gawin. grr... magulo pa kausap. anyway, i've done this for the past 17 years now, i guess i can take a week of her. hahahaha! nah... my sis is great but she's just busy. anyway, i'm in itoy's coffee haus right now while she's at the provincial capitol. dance practice or meeting or something. and i'm wifi-ing and then i have to follow her there.. anyway, we're going to the underground river tomorrow so i'm kinda excited for that. also, we went to her school (palawan state university, PSU) a while ago and para siyang up min na mas malapit ang mga buildings to each other at paved ang roads. hahahaha!=D malapit lang pala kami sa beach pero di ko nakikita pa. huhuhu..=(

ang malas ko kahapon sa airport. sa terminal 2 ako pumunta pero sa terminal 3 pala yung flight ko. tapos, when i got there, delayed ng 1 hour 15 minutes yung flight. tapos nung nasa plane na kami, nagka-technical difficulty tapos na stuck kami sa loob habang nag-aayos sila for like more than an hour. so mga past 5 na kami nakarating ng puerto. haaay na lang.... ayun.

maganda yung bagong boarding house ng kapatid ko. malaki at malinis. tapos, 2k lang a month. coolness! =D tapos, yung sa bayan na area, parang malaking mts. hehe. peaceful naman. ang taxi, tryke. hehe.=) maaga din natutulog mga tao... pero kapatid ko at friends niya, hindi.=P ewan ko nga saan sila tumatambay eh.=p

anyway, sunod na ko sa kanya. may ipapakita pa daw siya na dance dun sa ka-meeting niya sa capitol. at kailangan niya tong laptop na to. pinapadownload ko lang yung videos na kailangan niya.=p 'til next time!

ang oct11 na naging oct10

2008-10-10T23:01:00.000+08:00

kasi hindi pwede si mau this weekend, naisip namin na lumabas padin pero oct10 na lang daw para diretso ang weekend acad-mode namin (asa pa... baka lumabas din ako ulit ng weekend...) ayun, hindi makapunta si ghe kasi late na daw kami nagtext, si dex sumunod lang kasi ayaw pa sumama nung una, si epi pinahabol namin after makita sa daan.

kasama si thom, dodo, ayza at lila, kumain kami ng dinner sa grill queen.

sorry guys, blurry...

galing ni lila mag-take ng pic

nakita namin si gary at ana sa grill queen. tinatakasan pala kami kasi una naming sabi, sa frioli kami kakain. hahaha. ayun.=p

after, lakad hanggang sarah's at dun na dumating sina epi at dex. sumunod din si mark, boyfriend ni lila. usap2x, chika, awayin si dodo, kalai stuff, chismis, green jokes ni thom, mga deadline ni dex, etc. etc. ang gulo talaga natin magsama. ayun, around 12:30, umalis na kami at naglakad sa fog-filled roads ng up pauwi ng dorm.

sina dodo, epi, dex, ayza at ako na lang ang magkakasama kasi nag philcoa na sina lila, mark at thom. tinry namin magtakutan ng konte pero no effect kasi nag-e-english na si dodo so natatawa na lang kami. si epi naman, nag wiwish na ma-tiyanak daw kami para kelangan baliktarin namin yung mga damit namin. hahaha.

nakauwi naman kami lahat ng maayos. ata. ewan sa mga nag-philcoa. hehehe.=p anyway, dalawang realization lang: (1) nakaka-inis mag-inuman ng may curfew at (2) pag nag-iinuman at may tinanong si thom sa yo, wag kang sumagot, sigurado, green yun.

survey

2008-10-10T22:02:00.000+08:00

anong tingin niyo sakin?

...wala lang... may kakilala kasi ako na naninibago daw sakin kasi hindi daw ako ganito dati... pero di naman ako nagbago... feeling ko, hindi niya lang alam yung iba't ibang areas ng pagkatao ko... so, kayo, ano tingin niyo sakin?

the one thing that i'll never ever get tired of...

2008-10-10T16:19:00.002+08:00

BATMAN!

i just finished watching the batman tech video ghe gave me and... wow...

wala lang... =D makes me happy to confirm that batman's equipments and vehicles are all possible. hahahaha! grabe... i guess batman brings out my inner fangirl geekiness. =P buti na lang mahilig ako sa mga science and engineering stuff... at least naiintindihan ko yung mga explainations sa video. hahahaha! =P maka-happy... =)

ang weird ko talaga... pag batman-related things, it makes me so happy and giddy and everything... batman is and forever will be my ultimate fangirl obssession! ...and geek obssession... and superhero obssession... hahahahaha! =P

ps. at last! they finally notice the reason why my brother, sister and i love batman... cause he's the only one without powers... thus, the only one who could possibly be out there, for real... =D

pps. haaay... someday, magkakaron ako sa bahay ko ng isang room na puro batman stuff lang. hahahaha! hmm... sana there's a possibility na may reprints ng original batman comics, para hindi mahal. hahahaha! kung yung original kasi, collector's items na yun. ubos pera. =P or kahit compilation lang. mahappy na ko na mabasa lang yun. =)

ppps. survey: paano niyo nakilala si batman at sino ang batman na naaalala niyo pag nababanggit siya? para sakin yung batman sa batman the animated series. siya ang unang batman na nakilala ko ever at everytime na nababanggit ang "batman" yung image na yun ni batman ang lagi kong nakikita. at, pag nagbabasa ako ng comics or books na batman, yung boses ni kevin conroy ang lagi kong naririnig. siya yung boses ni batman sa cartoons eh. hahahaha! =P

books!books!books!

2008-10-06T13:52:00.000+08:00

list of wants/needs:

- watchmen graphic novel (any bookstore with a good graphic novel collection)
- complete dark tower series (national bookstore, powerbooks, fully booked)
- isaac asimov's collection of short stories on artificial intelligence (stall 1, sc, up diliman)
- fight club (used bookstore? booksale?)
- book 2 and 3 of griffin and sabine (powerbooks?)
- any batman graphic novel (fully booked, powerbooks)
- the next 4 books after hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy (used bookstore, booksale)
- complete narnia series (any bookstore)

just reminding myself.. what can you add? =)

press cafe

2008-10-05T19:21:00.000+08:00

have you been to fully booked in the block? did you notice that there's a restaurant inside? if you haven't, then it's time you notice!

hehehe. i had my alone-time dinner at press cafe, fully booked, the block, sm north a while ago. and i loved my order! hahaha. fried malaysian dory fish with some sort of breading on the outside topped with pesto and with lemon-butter sauce. yummy!! or i just love pesto? cream of mushroom soup... normal soup but i like soup. and iced green tea... it was really green tea... with ice! hahaha! and they have books you can browse through while waiting... well, that's sorta predictable since it's inside a bookstore... anyway, i plan to come back to try their other dishes!

there. i just wanted to share. i hardly see people eating there so i wanted to give them free advertisement.

?

2008-09-29T03:51:00.003+08:00

positive realization though.. i've been handling my emotional see-saw better than the last time. last time, i went on a drinking spree by myself, slept all day and fainted from the lack of eating, cried myself to sleep and stayed indoors for a whole weekend of self-pity. i think i'm doing well now.. i still do feel bad and self-pitying but at least i eat more and sleep less.. but i still go online like for forever.. hahaha. *sigh*

trying to be happy is different from being truly happy.. smiling isn't working like it used to.. do i need psychological help?.. whatcha think?

useless

2008-09-29T03:45:00.002+08:00

another thing that bothers me is that after 4 years in college, i can't really remember my lessons.. i've been feeling so useless whenever we discuss mass balances and energy balances since i couldn't, for the life of me, remember how to do those calculations. so i end up not being helpful.. more like just a data gatherer and moral support for the group.. i feel so useless.. they could do all these things with just them three.. they don't really need me.. makes you feel completely stupid and useless.. *sigh* hopefully, by the time i graduate and start going to review classes for the board exams, i'd be more studious and smart enough to remember what my lessons are.. damn it jans.. when will you ever learn..

end

2008-09-29T03:32:00.002+08:00

it's 3:32 am.. and once again, i am awake..

i just finished looking for the density data of organic liquids in perry's and i wrote them down and plugged 'em into excel.. i didn't have the install.exe on my perry's so i couldn't just copy and paste the data directly.. and i'm not even sure we could use that data cause what we really need is gas density.. *sigh*

i miss jon..

i think i should be doing something much more worthwhile with my life.. but i couldn't really get anywhere in this country if i didn't finish college, right?.. *sigh* i just feel so out of it nowadays.. it's like everything we do is pointless.. yah, if i fail now, it'd all be pointless.. but even if i pass 'em all i wouldn't really be getting anywhere since it's too late to change my previous grades and it's useless grieving over them now.. *sigh*

i know i'm supposed to do something great someday.. i just don't know how i'm gonna get there.. do i take the board right after grad? do i work right away, of course assuming i get a job? do i even stay in the philippines? can i survive outside the country? i can barely survive in manila.. damn.. *sigh*

i don't know what path to take.. i know what i want to accomplish.. it's not really a very specific accomplishment.. it's sorta general.. but the point of the goal doesn't change.. but which path do i take to get there? and this is only a professional problem.. i haven't even started on all my emotional problems.. *sigh* life can be so tiring.. where can you find true happiness and peace of mind?..

alone

2008-09-28T03:56:00.003+08:00

hmm.. it's 3:59 in the morning and i'm still awake.. i dunno why..i went out with college friends last night and it was fun.. but, i kinda felt like i've been such a loser for these past few years.. i mean, if you really think about it, i have no barkada-type friends in college. if you ask me who in UP i always hang out with, i'd have no answer. when i was in first year, it was olivia. second year, coli and ate yan. third year, jon. fourth year, jon. and now, fifthe year.. none actually.. being close with your roommates is good but they also have friends outside of your room. so they aren't gonna hang out with you forever. okay.. so i can rephrase my sentence.. i do have friends here.. a lot actually.. but i don't have anyone whom i hang out with on a regular basis. i mean, i can't even invite anyone on a random day at the mall. i'd rather go by myself. i don't really know if this is good for me or not.. i mean, i think it develops a good sense of independence but i think it also breeds a loner quality in me that doesn't fit well.. argh.. anyway, i can't change the past.. i guess i should just learn from it.. i mean, i guess it was cool that i got to experience to types of lives.. in highschool, i was part of an extroverted crowd who made friends with a lot of people and always had each other to hang out with.. and in college, i learned how it is to walk by myself down those corridors and not feel ashamed that i'm all alone.. because being alone is not being lonely.. =)

later half of saturday

2008-09-20T20:21:00.000+08:00

haay.. ayoko na ng yahoo messenger. ayaw ako ipa-log in. demmet. mag-skype na tayong lahat! let's go!

hmm, ayun, kumain ako ng dinner sa heaven&eggs kanina. tas weird, kasi parang nagtataka yung mga waiters kung bakit ako mag-isa.. bakit? bawal ba kumain mag-isa? labo.. ayun, feeling ata nung head waiter, lonely ako kasi kinakausap niya ko. hehehe. natatawa na lang ako. unusual ba talagang kumain mag-isa? tas yung isang group ng "young adults" sa kabilang table, tumitingin din. weird.. nakakaconscious tuloy sumubo ng malaki. hahahahaha! nevertheless, nilamon ko padin yung food ko. bahala sila.=p haay.. ang sulit talaga ng fresh milk.. nyahahaha!=p

nakabili na din ako ng black shoulder bag. nyahahaha. pretty naman siya at sorta malaki. pero hindi padin super laki. hehe.=p at least may magagamit na ko na mukha akong babae. nyahahahaha!=p mas lalo na yung mga lakad na nakakapressure magmukhang babae. grr..=p

haay.. lecheng sale.. wala akong mahanap na shirt or any top na maganda. yung mga maganda naman, oa ang mahal. grr.. hindi worth it.. hmm.. maka-tiangge nga..=p

woot! woot! salamat kay kuya halley sa libreng krispy kreme doughnut at coffee. hehe.=p nakita ko kasi siya nung nakapila ako sa krispy kreme, nasa harap ko pala. hehe. naka-yuko kasi ako kaya di ko siya napansin.. ayun, nilibre ako! whee!! nahiya pa ko pero ayun, makapal padin yung mukha ko kahit papano.=p at naka free ride din ako pauwi! woot! galing ko talaga chumamba!=p

haay.. sana nga matuloy ako sa palawan sa sembreak. payag sana sila daddy.. mas makakamura naman kami kesa umuwi ako ng davao..=p siguraduhin lang ng kapatid ko na nakalipat na siya.=p

i lack practice

2008-09-17T18:52:00.000+08:00

wah... T_T

i've been reading stephen king's dark tower 5 on and off for about nearly 5 hours now and i'm only roughly 3/16th's through the book...

wah... T_T

5 hours? i think i should be a quarter of the way finished by now... grrr... i lack practice...

must practice! for the greater good of... umm... reading-kind? hahahaha! =D whatever... i don't even have a next book to read after this... hmm... probably time to buy dark tower 6... =D who wants to buy it for me?? expecting-much? jansell is a psychotic girl.

which city would you want to live in?

2008-09-10T14:15:00.000+08:00

HowStuffWorks: 5 Amazing Green Cities

haay.. sana ganito ang kahit isang city man lang sa pilipinas.. i vote for turning davao into a green city. hehe.=) fun yun! di na talaga ako aalis ng davao. forever na ko dun.=) hmm.. magawa ngang greater goal..=p pero pag ginawa ko tong goal kelangan ko mag ene at egye na ms.. at makapag hanap ng magandang connection sa government.. hahaha. anyway, goal nonetheless..=) dabawenos unite!=) tulong tulong gawing "green" ang davao.=D

mindanao "peace talks"

2008-09-09T16:57:00.000+08:00

kasalanan naman ng both sides diba?

gumawa ng memorandum of agreement and administration with the rebel groups that would enable them to take full control of their areas. malamang gugustuhin nila yung mga naka-state sa memorandum. tapos, biglang nadissolve yun kasi against the constitution. tama naman na against sa constitution, pero bakit yun prinesent ng administration in the first place? malamang alam nila na against the constitution yun. kasi, gusto nilang galitin ang milf. gusto nila magkaroon ng dahilan ang mnlf na umatake sa military. if i know, plinano nila talaga yun para may dahilan silang sugurin ang milf.

pero, itong rebel groups naman, masyadong predictable. sana man lang nakipag usap na lang sila ng maayos. hindi. ginawa nila ang inexpect ng administration na gawin nila. kaya ayan, giyera.

ano bang kelangan ng administration sa mindanao at kelangan magresort sa giyera? ganun ba ka kalaking pera ang at stake? i guess so.. for them to resort to taking the lives of innocent people, i guess A LOT is at stake in this war.. sana lang may matira pa sa gusto nila after ng giyerang to.. nakakadepress..

oil nanaman??

2008-09-09T16:40:00.000+08:00

INQUIRER.net: 300 fishers protest oil exploration in Cebu-Bohol Strait

grabe.. mukha talagang pera mga tao.. dahil mahal na ang gasolina, hanap pa sila ng paraan para makakuha ng mas madami pa nito para makabenta.. eh diba dapat pag mataas na ang production at the same demand, bababa ang price? sa dami pala ng possible sources ng oil, bakit hindi na lang nila babaan yung presyo? mukhang pera talaga.. mandadamay pa ng ibang tao.. so, ano plano niyo? tanggalan ng trabaho tong mga mangingisdang to? argh.. nakakasira ng ulo..

why does there have to be war?

2008-09-09T16:35:00.000+08:00

INQUIRER.NET: Fighting resumes in Maguindanao

grabe.. nadedepress talaga ako sa mga ganitong balita.. tas alam mo pang it's happening too close to home.. shet.. bakit kasi kelangan pa mag-away?.. bakit kelangan manlinlang ng tao para makuha yung mga gusto nila?.. tanggapin na lang nilang mali sila pareho at mag-usap muli para sa ikabubuti ng lahat.. kelangan ba talaga to?.. ewan.. naive lang siguro ako.. idealistic.. pero mas okay na yun kesa maging gaya nila..

dabawenos: kuryente o tubig?

2008-09-09T16:19:00.000+08:00

INQUIRER MINDANAO: War over potable water looms in Davao
http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/regions/view_article.php?article_id=159126

wow.. parang tanong na to sakin dati ng kapatid ko.. kung ano daw mas kaya ko, brown-out o walang tubig. sabi ko, mas okay na saking brown-out at may tubig kesa may kuryente pero wala namang tubig.. at parang darating na nga ang araw para pumili and lahat ng taga-dabaw..

basahin niyo yung nasa link para magets niyo. mahirap kasi i-explain dito lahat.. anyway, tama sila na kelangan ng ECC bago sila bigyan ng water permit, pero kung ayaw sila bigyan ng ECC baka naman kasi hindi environmentally sound yung project nila. ayusin muna nila yun. diba?

is this me?

2008-09-07T17:21:00.000+08:00

i made this in the website of face your manga. does it look like me? hehe.=)

sleep = death

2008-09-03T19:54:00.002+08:00

do you know it's possible to sleep yourself to death? just sleep and sleep and don't eat. you'll grow weak and tired then later, you won't be able to move. and then after a long time, you can die..

hahaha. just read a status of a friend.. "sleeping myself to death" i just thought it was possible.. just saying..

bakit di ako stressed?

2008-08-24T23:12:00.002+08:00

ayun, dito ako sa blogspot ko magpopost nito kasi wala naman akong chE friends na nagbabasa nito.. hindi kasi nila alam. haha.=p anyway, labo noh? bakit di ako stressed?? i mean, halos lahat, or lahat na siguro, nang batchmates ko, parang feeling nilang lahat natatakpan na sila ng mga responsibilidad nila sa acads. yung parang wala na daw silang buhay para sa ibang bagay except acads. bakit ako hindi ganun yung feeling ko? oo, may oras naman na feeling ko ang dami-dami kong dapat gawin at naiiyak na ko kasi di ko matapos. pero pagkatapos na pagkatapos nung mga deadline na yun, okay na ko ulit. nag-aabang na ko ng mga panibagong mga gawain. hindi naman sila nakatambak sa isa't isa. parang by wave sila dumarating sakin. bakit parang yung iba forever natatabunan? haay.. hindi naman sa gusto kong ma-feel yung nafi-feel nila. pero baka kasi may kulang sa ginagawa ko kaya ako ganito. or masyado lang akong carefree kaya hindi ako apektado gaano.. weirdly enough.. kayo ba? sa palagay niyo? (hahahaha! sino kayang tinatanong ko, wala namang nagbabasa nito eh.=p well, except si jon at si inno, sporadically.=p)

death note

2008-08-15T23:04:00.001+08:00

just finished watching the second installment of the death note movie. whee!! i am now officially a misa-misa fan!! hehe.=p when i first saw the picture of the movie amane misa, i was dissapointed. she looked so sad and gloomy and amane was such a bubbly person. but, when you watch the movie, you see the bubbly misa-misa and the darker misa who is so in love with light. whee!! happiness!! they changed the story A LOT but i think it was okay given that they only had 4hours to show everything. the actress for takada was pretty.=) also, the actor they got for light was great! well, again, when i first saw his picture, i thought he didn't look handsome enough. hahaha!! but, given his acting, i think he was great! i first saw him in battle royale and battle royale 2. he's sorta overacting but nevertheless, he shows the right emotion at the right moments. it's really cool..=D whee!! happiness is mine!!=D i have one question though, for all the death note fans out there, is it possible to stop your earlier death by having your death scheduled first at a later time? just like what L did at end?

ps. i so love misa's outfits!! wish i could wear those everyday!!=D

-

2008-08-12T17:12:00.000+08:00

ang tangkad pala ni ryan cayabyab noh? nakasalubong ko sa sc kanina, may dalang dalawang plastic bag. umiwas pa nga ko before ko narealize na siya yun. malapit ko mabangga eh. parang twice my height ata. hahaha.=D

falling

2008-08-05T21:45:00.004+08:00

we were soaring
soaring high up
high up and enjoying
enjoying the wind
the wind on our faces
faces near each other
each other and looking
looking and loving
loving and binding
binding together
together forever
but

forever isn't forever
forever isn't meant
i was

meant to be let go
let go when you can't
can't hold on
hold on to you
hold on to me
hold on to us

you let go
let go and abandon
abandon and fall
falling fast...

2008-08-05T01:35:00.003+08:00

i have this feeling that i'm overly pessimistic now.. forever just doesn't seem so real anymore.. and when something seems right i wonder when it'll go wrong.. what happened to me?..

movie stuff

2008-08-04T01:42:00.003+08:00

dark knight

so, i watched it again and this time i was focusing on harvey dent. i was kinda comparing the two-face origin in the cartoons and the one in the movie. one difference was that the cartoon two-face had anger issues and the movie two-face had revenge issues. anyway, i still think that the movie two-face was good. watching it a second time made me appreciate his character more.. and rachel dawes character too..=) and i cried again.. hehe..=p

~~~ o ~~~

hellboy: the golden army

i saw the trailer for the first time before the dark knight movie started and i wanna watch it!! it had cool characters and monsters and stuff.=) happy.=) i liked the first hellboy and i think i'm gonna like the second one too.=) and the director of this is the same one who did pan's labyrinth.=) i haven't watched it yet but i know it was good.=p

~~~ o ~~~

harry potter and the half-blood prince

i haven't really been a fan of the harry potter movies.. i preferred the books since i started reading it when i was 13. i always thought that they cut and change too much of the story to suit their theatrical needs. but i've started realizing that the movie is different and separate from the book. the book of course cannot be squeezed within a few hours. so, with this new perspective of the movies, i'm excited to see what their interpretation of book 6 would be. i saw the teaser trailer in perezhilton.com and i think they captured the darkness of the book quite okay.=) so yah, i think i'm gonna watch this one.. i skipped movie 5 since a lot of people told me it sucked.. well, it kinda did..=p

~~~ o ~~~

sisterhood of the travelling pants 2

i didn't really want to watch this but i watched the trailer in y!movies and now i want to!=p i miss watching feel good girly movies that make me cry.=) and it's bound to make me feel happy after so i think it's worth watching.=) and, i like a good friendship movie.=) hmm.. wonder who i could drag to watch this with..=p

i just got the weirdest comment..

2008-08-01T23:21:00.002+08:00

i can't really say what he told me pero i just wanna say i'm perfectly fine and that i have no problems and that i'm very happy. hahaha!=p sabi nga ni kuya karlo, i was just walking down memory lane. so umm.. i'm okay.=p

2008-08-01T13:38:00.002+08:00

grabe.. ang martyr ko pala.. grabe yung pinagdaanan ko.. pero hindi lang naman ako eh.. siya din.. andami niya ding pinagdaanan.. tapos ok na sana nung natapos na.. pero hindi pa pala.. kasi hindi pa pala tapos.. akala ko lang tapos na.. at narealize ko na sa kanya, ako pala ang nagkamali.. ako ang naging masama.. tama naman.. dahil hindi pa nga tapos, at ginawa ko yun.. pero akala ko talaga tapos na.. at dahil dun.. natapos na nga ng tuluyan.. at nagsimula na siya ng kanya.. pero di na kami ok.. at di na ata magiging ok pa.. sayang.. sayang ang pinagsamahan.. ako nasasayangan.. siya kaya?..

ps. wala lang.. i was just.. remembering..=) don't you do that sometimes?.. remember your past and see what happened?.. hehe..=p pero malabo pa to eh.. di na ata to maayos..

2008-08-01T07:16:00.002+08:00

it's funny.. now that i think about it.. my first relationship was a direct-to-long-distance relationship.. it worked for a while but i guess things with no stable foundation tend to go weak with time.. now.. i'm in another long-distance relationship.. i guess this has better foundations but it still carries the same pain.. life tends to give me drama even if i don't want it.. and what's worse.. i'm not the happy-go-lucky kid i was back then.. back then, even in pain, i can find reasons to smile.. i can be optimistic and just be happy.. now.. i'm pessimistic and old.. and emotional and fragile.. for no apparent reason.. yah, i get worse through time.. i even look like shit.. good luck to my grad pic..

2008-08-01T06:24:00.000+08:00

..just when you need friends, you don't have one..

...

2008-08-01T06:20:00.002+08:00

and to think i was expecting at least a happy start to my day.. before i throw myself into hell again.. but no, i get a kick in the rear.. thanks..

jans, be more understanding.. you don't know what's happening there..

well, f*ck you.. you don't know what's happening here either..

this conversation with myself sucks even more knowing that no one reads this shit so ranting isn't technically ranting with no receiving end..

2008-08-01T05:38:00.002+08:00

i guess when you're both immature and not even emotionally ready, it won't work.. well.. that's a partial explanation.. not the full though.. that's just half of it.. the later half would be in the end.. and yes, i'm still awake, if anyone reads this shit.. i have to stop being addicted to the internet..

2008-08-01T03:45:00.002+08:00

maybe that's it.. maybe it was all virtual.. what was shown in the correspondence was what was really felt.. but what was shown in real life, was something else.. maybe it didn't add up.. thus the confusion.. and the misinterpretations.. thus the separation.. weird.. after all this time, i'm still trying to figure it out..

emo crap

2008-07-28T04:12:00.002+08:00

i feel emo again tonight.. i dunno why.. it's so weird..*sigh* actually, i think i know why.. this happens when i'm alone and i tend to come across some.. memories while surfing or something..*sigh* i wish i'd stop and get over everything.. damn it.. time check: 4:14am.. ghe is gonna kill me later if i don't wake up on time..

gotham knight

2008-07-23T18:51:00.000+08:00

thanks to ghe, i now have a copy of batman: gotham knight!!=) whee.. it's like the animatrix except this time for batman. you get to see the different artists' interpretation of our facorite dark knight. i don't want to give another full account on it but yah, watch it. it's great! a darker twist on the traditional batman animated series. and bruce timm is an executive producer!! so yah, you know it's for real.=p

ps. bruce timm was the one of the makers of the batman animated series that we all saw as kids.=)

"why so serious?"

2008-07-17T22:37:00.002+08:00

*WARNING: There may be spoilers ahead for the dark knight movie. When I write these things, I don't really have control over what I say..*

That's a quote from the joker in the new batman movie. Grabe!! I AM SO HAPPY I WATCHED THE PREMIER!! Gosh... First time ko manood ng premier and it was ALL WORTH IT!! I'm gonna do a little charcter review now:

Lucius Fox - Did he exist before Batman Begins? Anyway, it's cool that Bruce has Lucius on his side to build his equipment and gear for him, but i dunno, it's weird that suddenly there are two old guys who know who he is at night and what he does. But yes, it is logical to have Lucius Fox who is a scientist, researcher and engineer to make Batman's little toys for him. Character wise, Lucius supports both lives of Mr. Wayne. He is a man of virtue as seen when he explicitly told Bruce that he would resign after the job because "spying on people is not one of my job descriptions". Hahaha! That was funny.

Lt. James Gordon - I still think that his character is a little too passive and still needs a little more spunk and fight but Gordon has proven in this movie that he can stand up and fight for the ideal Gotham City that he wants. It's cool when he pretended to be dead so he can catch the Joker. Too bad it was all part of the Joker's plan..

Rachel Dawes - Hahahaha! Good thing they didn't get Katie Holmes again for this role. I doubt if she could pull off the tough female lawyer character that is Rachel. Actually, I really expected her to die.. It'd be weird that Batman and Bruce Wayne would be waiting for someone for the rest of his life.. And yah, Batman would be one tough cookie now that there's no more damsel in distress he has to worry about. I was happy to see that they portrayed her as an independent woman and is capable of making her own decisions (one of them is to marry Harvey Dent).

Harvey Dent - He dies.. That made me sad.. But this character development of Harvey turning into Two-Face was WAY better than the one in Batman Forever. Here, he had the right mix of sufferring, grief and anger to turn his already "chance"-positive mind into the coin-flipping justice of a character to enable an acceptable turn for the worst. I'm just sad that he can't go on for another movie.. And did you see that left half of his face?? WOW!! CREEPY..

Alfred Pennyworth - Hahahaha! I love Alfred. Without him, Bruce would be either suffering depression or has already turned into the villain. His support for Bruce and his direct to the point answers to Bruce's inquiries shows just how close they are and how much he knows Bruce. There was this one scene when he told off Bruce Wayne cause he was saying that the mob was crazy for hiring a man they didn't understand:
Bruce Wayne: I knew the mob wouldn't go down without a fight. But this is different. They crossed the line. Alfred Pennyworth: You crossed the line first, sir. You hammered them. And in their desperation they turned to a man they didn't fully understand. Some men aren't looking for anything logical. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
I like that last line by Alfred.. "Some men just want to watch the world burn." And that's what some people really are..

The Joker - OH MY GOD... I believe that Heath Ledger is the creepiest, most convincing, sadistic, psychotic Joker I've seen.. Well, I've only seen three: (1) the cartoon version which was actually good except when he was too funny.. (2) Jack Nicholson in the original Batman movie. He was really good too. Really. I believed that no one would be able to pull off Joker on that level again. But, (3) Heath Ledger outdid him. He wasn't at all like i expected. I knew he would be darker but i didn't expect to be really disturbed by it. Wow.. He was really convincing and great. He showed how cruel and merciless the Joker really is. The Joker showed that he respected Batman as an enemy and in response, he's never gonna stop going after him. And you actually feel like you're seeing the start of the Batman and Joker history.

Batman - I love him. I idolize what he stands for. What he does for the good of everything. Even if I agree when the Joker said that you need to have no rules to work the way you work, I agree with his respect for life. It's cruel how people seek him when they need help and prosecute him when they need someone to blame. It's amazing how they followed his characterization to the core. The way he just appears and disappears when he goes into a scene. His lack of jurisdiction when it comes to justice. They even change his voice when he talks as the Batman!

I love Christopher Nolan for his great directing of the Dark Knight and Batman Begins. After watching the Animated Series Features where the concept of Batman was explained, I realized that earlier portrayals of Batman were.. kiddie. They were too focused on special effects and there was just not much material on the development of the characters. I yearned for a darker Batman. The Batman that goes into the night and becomes one with it. I know what he sacrifices to become what he is. He has to be cold and cunning like these criminals he goes after but one thing makes a difference, his respect for human life. So thank you to Christopher Nolan for showing the world what Batman was truly meant to be. He's not just some caped guy running aroung Gotham City trying to be a hero, he's a a man of justice and of the night.

"He is not a hero; he is a silent protector; he is a watchful guardian; he is the dark knight." - Lt. James Gordon

PS. I cried at the end.. It was just so sad.. Him giving up his freedom just to let Gotham believe their white knight..

loser mode

2008-07-12T22:00:00.002+08:00

ok.. so, i spend the day ALONE instead of going out with friends and shop.. well, not my fault really but still, alone like i said. i can't shop by myself because i'd look retarded (trust me, if you'd seen me around the mall by myself, you'd think i was retarded too. no offense to the retarded). and then, i spend the rest of the day watching ripped off movies from someone else's computer and when the internet came back, i read comics. i whine to my friends who kindly chat with me online and my roommate left around 9pm to go "pahrtey". and i go shout at the room and scream "loser ko uy!". so there, I AM A LOSER.. damn it. no friends, no life, no choice. stupid bitch.

wow..

2008-07-12T20:01:00.000+08:00

it's hard to concentrate when i'm drunk and it's 11:54 pm in my clock.. mom, if you're reading this.. it's a one time thing.. i'm just depressed.. i'll study my lessons tomorrow.. ok?.. thank you to santi julian solomon and daryl ritchie valles for being sane while i'm not being sane.. ok.. my boyfriend's out to do some sprotsfest for his church.. ok.. i respect that.. i'm just sad.. i'm a loser.. ok.. *mwah* i love you all.. damn it, i'm losing my grammar.. you won't notice cause i'm editing my lines.. argh.. damn it.. lambanog and chippy are not a good mix.. but actually, they're good.. wow.. i'm listening to some crap music.. guys? ren? bry? siao? koi? ka? help me? damn it.. i'm going out of my mind.. if i post this, i'm dead with my mom.. my, i'm sorry, if i'm not really focusing on my studies.. i have to have a life you know.. i miss jon.. ok! i shall study tomorrow!! i promise!! REALLY!! for real.=) thank you guys..=)

no movies

2008-07-12T15:34:00.000+08:00

well, it's 7:33 in the evening.. i guess there won't be any movies, huh? thanks guys, paasa kayo..

argh!!

2008-07-08T17:37:00.000+08:00

bwiset..

my dad called me up a while ago..
at first it seemed sweet that he was checking up on me for some weird reason..
and then he asks when i'll graduate..
i said on april..
sure na ba daw..
i told him maybe..
if i passed all my subjects and if we get our plant design right..
and damn it if he didn't blow at that moment..
why wouldn't i be able to graduate daw..
dapat sure na daw yan..
hindi daw pwede na hindi ako gagraduate sa april..
argh!!
malay ko ba kung ano mangyari??
malay mo kung may masamang mangayari sa plant design namin?
malay ko kung may gago akong prof na ibabagsak ako?
malay ko kung kaya ko pa?
bwiset..
tas magtaka sila kung bakit ayaw ng mga anak nila na ginatawagan sila..
alangan!
they call you up just to pressure you..
bwiset..

ps.
my, if your reading this, pagsabihan mo nga yun.

2008-07-07T22:05:00.003+08:00

feels weird..
i feel weird nowadays..
i feel detached..
like this isn't really my life..
he's not really in the states..
i'm not really studying..
i'm just really a bum..
dreaming..
maybe i'm with him there..
maybe we are together somewhere..
maybe i don't have assignments for tomorrow..
maybe i don't need this shit..
*sigh*
maybe i just need a life..
and study..
and stop bumming..
yah..
maybe..

best i ever had..

2008-06-23T14:05:00.002+08:00

ok.. so i looked for the lyrics of gray sky morning and i realized that it's not so applicable to me but the first stanza hits the spot. haha.=p here it is..

so you sailed away/ into a gray sky morning/ now i'm here to stay/ love can be so boring/ nothing's quite the same now/ i just say your name now/ but it's not so bad/ you're only the best i ever had/ you don't want me back/ you're just the best i ever had/ so you stole my world/ now i'm just a phony/ remembering the girl/ leaves me down and lonely/ send it in a letter/ make yourself feel better/ but it's not so bad/ you're only the best i ever had/ you don't want me back/ you're just the best i ever had/ and it may take some time to/ patch me up inside/ but i can't take it so i/ run away and hide/ and i may find in time that/ you were always right/ you're always right/ so you sailed away/ into a gray sky morning/ now i'm here to stay/ love can be so boring/ what was it you wanted/ could it be i'm haunted/ but it's not so bad/ you're only the best i ever had/ i don't want you back/ you're just the best i ever had/ the best i ever had/ the best i ever...

so there.. hehe.. i miss him.. =)

so, he flew away..

2008-06-22T22:57:00.002+08:00

hmm..i'm trying to remember the rest of the song..you know the song?

"so you sailed away/into a gray sky morning/________ to say/love can be so boring.."

that song..anyway, i watched him go through immigration and the boarding gate and getting his luggage scanned..and then i saw him disappear behind a wall..and that's the last of it..i didn't cry..was that bad?..i got teary eyed when he called me and when i was watching him go but so far, i haven't cried yet..koi asked me if i were being numb or something..maybe..i dunno..but i haven't cried and that's all i know..i didn't think of him last night while i was out with my friends..i thought of him before i slept this 6am..i remembered when i woke up..but i'm not crying..maybe because i know he'll be back..and i know we're still together..and i know we'll still see each other through the internet..i know there won't be any late night strolls..or my daily ration of kisses..but i know he'll be back..and maybe that's what matters..

advice

2008-06-19T23:37:00.002+08:00

now i realize that what i've been doing to other people has been irritating and uncalled for. now that i'm having depression or attachment problems, people have been giving me advice on how to cope and how to be better and to "cheer up". my point is, i'm sad because i have a reason to be sad so no amount of advice or "cheering up" is gonna make me feel better until i tell myself to feel better. *sigh* i guess all those years of giving unasked-for advice was irritating for the people i gave them to. sorry everyone. so my message is, if i want advice, i'll ask for it.

2008-06-19T12:18:00.002+08:00

i dunno if i'm just being emotional, sentimental, depressed or being a loner but i've been getting pissed at many people lately. and it's all because of one thing. since people already know that jon's going to the states, people have been either asking me when he's going or if he's gone already. and i hate it when they give me this insincere look and response. a few people would go "awww" with fake sad eyes. others would do the "awww" thing then laugh. you know what? just don't respond. if you're just giving me fake and insincere "it must be sad" or "i know how it feels", don't. i don't need your sympathy. i need real friends who'd be there, just be there when i'm sad. don't tell me that "one year is just a short time", just shut up, ok? all i need are people who'd be there. just that. i miss ecce signum..

friends, drama mode na ba dapat ako?

2008-06-12T15:26:00.000+08:00

sa june 21 na ang alis nila jon to... *drumroll* ...san diego, california!!=p ayun, mag-migrate na sila dun. na approve na kasi sila and they have to be gone before june 27 or else cancelled lahat. so, ayun, alis na sila sa june 21, 2008, saturday yan ha.=p tapos, may weird ako na classmates na nagtatanong bakit di daw ako nagdadrama. hindi pa man dapat diba? sayang ang mga araw kung mag-oa na ako. right? right!=p anyway, sa june 21 na lang ako magdadrama. kaya to my friends (shout out to: karen, koi, ren, siao, bry and james, who by the way is in taguig) labas naman tayo sa june 21 eh. pagkatapos ko ihatid yung mokong sa airport. nyahaha. hindi lagi ako magdrama masyado. kaya nga kelangan ko lumabas eh.=) so, help me my dear friends..=) and place to crash din pala after. hahahaha.=p *mwah* miss you all!!!

crs ulit

2008-05-16T11:05:00.000+08:00

ayun, pumunta ako ng crs office kani-kanina lang. nagtanong ako sa kuya dun kung bakit hindi ako makapag-enlist ng che 172 at yung mga kaklase ko, nakaka-enlist. eto yung conversation:

kuya: nakuha mo na ba yung prereq?
ako: opo.
kuya: shiftee ka ba?
ako: hindi po.
kuya: *nag-iisip*...may meeting kasi yung mga mag-aayos niyan, balik ka na lang ng mga 3:30 o kaya tawagan mo na lang yung trunkline.

haay.. hindi ko naman ma-blame si kuya kasi wala naman talaga siyang magagawa pero wala lang. bakit ba hindi ako makakuha ng 172? nakuha ko naman ang prereq. may grade na nga ako ng es26 sa crs eh. nagtanong din ako sa mga tao kung ano yung sagot nila sa "are you graduating this term?" na tanong, pareho naman kaming "no". tsaka, bakit yung mga kapwa kaklase ko sa 123 last sem, nakakakuha naman ng 172. haay.. life.. ayun, nagemail na lang ako ulit sa crs support. yung gusto magemail, eto yung add, crssupport@list.up.edu.ph

tas ayun, pumunta din ako ng dept, nagpapatanong si djana kung may grade na sa 123 kasi kelangan niya sa scholarship niya. naka-lock yung door tska kumatok ako ng tatlong beses, wala ata talagang tao. ayun. hindi din tuloy ako makatanong tungkol sa crs. haay..=(

sana naman by second run, ok na yun. baka kelangan ko pa umiyak sa mga prof para maprerog..

tangnang crs yan

2008-05-15T14:37:00.000+08:00

bwiset. lahat ng kakilala ko pwede na mag enlist ng 172. bakit ako hindi. bwiset. naiiyak na ko sa galit. malapit na pa talaga mag end yung first run. bwiset!!!

2008-05-06T23:48:00.002+08:00

i hate it when a person suddenly goes cold and distant in the middle of something. you don't even know what's bothering them. and when you ask, they either won't tell you or they skirt all around the question. damn it. why can't they just say it outright? i've been guilty of doing the same thing but now i've been trying my hardest to say what's on my mind whenever i feel weird or distracted or something. or if something's bothering me, i try to say it before the moment passes and i never get the chance to voice out what i feel. but him? him? he just shuts up and he doesn't even answer my questions. the least credit i could give is he didn't skirt around my question. he just didn't answer it. and it was obvious i was looking for an answer. *sigh* i just had to let this out.. i'm just pissed that he doesn't tell what's up. i can't read minds and i can't read facial expressions either. especially poker faces. damn it.. even if it's a minor thing, a person should tell what's bothering him cause he doesn't, it'll escalate into something much worse and before you know it, what once bothered you in a minor way becomes the sole reason you destroy what relationship you both had..

happy surprise birthday to me!=)

2008-04-10T11:03:00.000+08:00

april 9, 2008

first time kong mag-birthday ng wala sa davao. ayun, before ako umuwi, binigyan ako ni daddy ng ipod shuffle na green so medyo happy na ko. di ko pa nga lang malagyan ng songs kasi hindi ko pa ma-on yung laptop ko. hahaha! anyway, ayun. tapos, nung monday (april 7) pumunta kami ni jon sa trinoma at binilhan niya ko ng havis. hehe.=p tapos, nung tuesday (april 8) enrollment for summer 08. ayun, instant enlistment so happy. here's my schedule:

pe 2 street dance - 7am to 8:20am

pi 100 life & works of jose rizal - 9am to 11am

sts science & technology for society? - 11am to 1pm

ayan! happiness. sana lang magising ako for pe. haha! anyway, yan din yung araw na lumipat ako sa dorm. kapagod and everything pero ok na din. natulog ako around 2:30am kasi nag-ayos pa ako ng gamit sa room ko.

birthday ko na! woke up at 11am. may usapan kasi kami ni karen na magkita for lunch so naligo na ako agad kasi kinda late na ko nagising.. after, punta ko lobby hintay at pa-load, la nanaman akong load nun eh. haha.=p ayun, nakita ko si ghe so nakitext na muna ako. tapos, usap2x habang hintay si karen. nagtext siya na super ma-late daw siya. eh 1pm na nun at gutom na ko. so, punta na ko room at nagbasa at natulog. around 2pm, tumawag na siya kasi anjan na daw sila. i was wondering sino kasama niya pero i didn't ask na lang kasi medyo mainit na talaga ulo ko nun at gutom na ko. when i went out, ayun si karen. nagsosorry kasi late na siya. ako naman, yah yah.. ok lang. basta kumain na tayo dahil gutom na ako. tapos, ayun, pag-ikot sa may wall ng dorm, andun si koi na may hawak na balloons, si ren na nagcacapture ng moments (aka. may hawak na camera) at si bry na may hawak na cake. hehe. surprise pala yun for me. hahaha! i didn't expect it talaga guys. si jon kasi, he threw me off. kala ko he was up to something. alam niya lang pala that my friends were the ones who were up to something.

thank you to karen for organizing eveything. i was kinda mad at you na that time kasi nga lunch ang usapan but what the hell, nabawi naman sa surprise eh. thank you for being unpredictable and for being my best friend kahit minsan parang hindi na tayo nagkikita. thank you for being you and not changing.

thank you to koi for being there, at last!! hehe. i missed you you evil bitch. thank you for being your igat self and being vain with my balloons.

thank you to ren for the pix and for being there. thank you for joining in the surprise. thank you for all the gimiks that i went with you guys.

thank you to bry for cutting his meeting for me. hahaha. and yah, it shall be on my head if you get fired for it. thank you for all the times you let us crash at your condo when it's too late to go home.

and thank you to jo for shutting up about this surprise and throwing me off kaya di ko na-guess na they were up to something.

to maan and mykel, i missed you and sana you were here for my birthday.

hmm.. kahit wala ako sa davao at wala family ko and pinsans and titas and lola ko for my birthday, ok na din. nabawi ng aking lovable extended family. i love you guys and salamat talaga for everything. wow, for a person who likes surprises, this is the first time i received one.=)

do you dance?

2008-03-29T21:59:00.000+08:00

~~ survey na ninakaw ko kay dawn (hi!!=p). haha! kasi pagod na ko mag-pack ng gamit pauwi..=p ~~

When did you start dancing?:
~ nung grade 3 ako. haha! or sooner ba? yung sayaw ata namin magpipinsan nung one christmas time..=p macarena pa nga ata yun eh.. ata..=p

When did you sign up for your first dance class?:

~ no formal dance class. feeling lang talaga ako. nyahahaha!!=p

What genre was it?:

~ wala nga eh.. pero ever since? yung pop-ish na mga sayaw at hip-hop or as commonly known, street dance.=) pati cheerdance pala nung highschool.=)

What type of dance do you do now?:

~ street dance na lang mostly. hehe. gherick kasi..=p at disco/ clubbing style pala. hahaha! shoutouts to reni, bryan and siawoee!!=)

Do you dance on a team?:

~ yep! isentropes!! yung dance group ng org namin and of course ang team ng mga magaganda't gwapo! haha, high school clubbing group.=)

What's the team's name?:

~ nasa taas na.=p actually, wala kaming pangalan na magkakasama sumayaw sa mga gimik.. o nga noh? ren! team name!=p

Where do you usually perform?:

~ competitions, events, programs, club, sa kwarto... hahahaha!!=p at sa cr pa pala.=) at sa daan habang nag mememorize ng steps.=p

How often do you perform?:

~ nung highschool, twice a year nung last two years ko dun. dito sa college, every year and a couple a times din within the year depende kung trip kaming isali sa mga program.=p pero sure yung once a year na indakan.=)

Have you ever been on TV for dance?:

~ nope.. pero i'd love to experience that..=)

Have you ever been in the paper for dance?:

~ hmm.. does the org paper count?=p

Have you ever had to compete or do a show with cheerleaders?:

~ well, does high school count? hehe, chearleader naman kami lahat nun eh. good 'ol days..=)

Have you ever had to dance to Jock Jams?:

~ unsa man na?

What was the last song you performed/competed to?:

~ hmm.. anong song nga yun ren? yung favorite mo? yung may " and she goes down, down, down"? hahaha! anyway, formally, last song was a mix of jap songs from initial d.=)

What was your last costume?:

~ jap school girl effect kinda.. black top, ferrari jacket, checkered red skirt, white knee-high socks, and yellow chucks.=)

What is your current performance song?:

~ yung clubbing songs nila bry, ren and siaowee.=)

How often a week do you dance?:

~ everyday? haha. i count dancing while walking or while waiting somewhere or hearing a good tune somewhere din. hahaha! pero seriously, wala eh. once a sem siguro..=p plano ko mag-summer dance classes though..=) ballroom?=D

Do you choreograph?:

~ no.. sadly.. wala akong talent for choreography eh..=(

What are your favorite dance movies?:

~ depende sa ituturo ni ghe sakin. hahaha!=)

Has anyone wanted to date you just because you're a dancer?:

~ i dunno. i don't think so..

Do you have make up people for your shows?:

~ depende sinong magvolunteer for the compet.=)

What hip hop/ pop singer is your dance style closest to?:

~ no one in particular. i copy everyone i can hahaha!=)

Do you want to dance professionally?:

~ of course!! who doesn't?!=) you get to dance and get paid! come on!=) it doesn;t get better than that!=p

What do your friends/family think of your dancing?:

~ no comment sila so far.. ewan, i think i'm the only one who appreciates my dancing. o well, just gotta keep doing what i love.=)

What move/moves are you worst at?:

~ hahaha!! girly/ bitchy/ igat moves. hahaha!!=D

What move/moves are you best at?:

~ yung pang lalake. yung kelangan lalake yung galaw ko.=p

Are dancers stereotyped?:

~ ewan. for me dancers are cool. and the guy dancers turn uber gwapo when they dance. hahahaha!!=)

Is dancing a sport?:

~ i dunno.. for me, it's a passion. so i guess it depends.=)

If you could dance at any event what would it be?:

~ international competition! yung representing the Philippines. hehe. pangarap lang naman eh.=) makasali sa all stars. hahaha! dreaming galore!!=)

Has anyone ever asked you for your autograph?:

~ hahaha! asa!=p

Did you inherit your dance talent?:

~ umm.. i dunno.. maybe? dad? mom? could you dance for a while so i'll see from whom? hahaha!!=p

i am boring

2008-03-18T12:38:00.000+08:00

based on my previous blog entry, i don't have much creative juices to tell a decent story in print. argh.. dissapointed and hurt.. that is why i call myself boring. where hath you my inspirational muse gone?.. why hath you left thou in this shit. hahaha! nasira sa shit. anyway, even this one person told me that in my 140 report i was.. umm.. boring? his exact words were "complacent". labo.. i was almost shaking with fear at that time and he tells me i'm complacent/ too relaxed. ambot. come on man! anyway, life goes on and no company wants me to be in their internship programs. i could maybe find a company in davao but honestly, i don't want to be home in the summer. it's too damn hot and the people keep arguing with each other (i.e. my sis, dad and mom). and again, i say, "how am i supposed to PROVE MYSELF if NOBODY would give me a CHANCE??"

ps. sorry for the lack of coherency or a general outline.. or the lack of sense and relation to the title..

i am legend alternate ending

2008-03-16T22:23:00.000+08:00

i just finished watching the alternate ending that was released in dvd (i watched online). i couldn't really say which ending was better cause i found faults in both endings. but the fact that there are two endings is cool enough.=)

caution: spoilers

the movie was based on richard matheson's novel of the same name. in the book, vampires roamed los angeles due to some bacteria of sort that spread due to some unknown reason. robert neville (ang bida) was a guy who lived there fixing his house making it vampire-proof, hanging garlic, cleaning corpses out of his yard, etc. he kills vampires when he sees them and kills others who are not yet vampires but infected. he also uses his time to understand what really happened. later, a dog wanders into his yard and he takes time to win its trust. however, after succeeding, the dog gets ill and dies. later again, he meets a woman who seems normal and becomes friends. however, he realizes that she has the virus/bacteria when he takes a blood sample. the girl knocks her out but left a note before leaving saying that she was part of a tribe of people who were infected but have the ability to live in daylight (unlike classic vampires). she told him to go and never come back since people from her tribe would be back to take him and kill him. he decides not to leave. the said group of infected people come and take him and execute him at their place. before this happens, the girl she met gave her a pill that would enable him not to feel pain before the end. before he dies, he reflects on the fact that he has become a myth to these people because he was this unknown entity that killed their kind. he realizes that indeed, he is the last man on earth and these people he treats as monsters see him as one. thus his last thoughts are "i am legend".

(in case you didn't watch the movie)
the movie kinda sticks to the first half of the story where the city, in this case new york, is plagued by monsters/zombies/vampires due to some virus invented to cure cancer. there is also a dog but the dog was there from the beginning but she (the dog, samantha aka. sam) dies by the second half of the movie. in this movie, robert goes around with sam trying to find a cure for the virus that was the cause of all this. he did this by capturing "subjects" and subjecting them to different tests to figure out a cure. before sunset, he locks himself in his house to hide him from the infected. one day, he discovered a "hive" where he caught a woman subject. this is the reason the head of the hive hunts for him. this is also the cause of sam's death due to some scheme the infected leader did to capture robert. when sam dies, robert goes self-destructive and heads out to kill himself and bring down any infected ones with him. however, he is saved by a girl named anna and a kid. they head back to is house but were followed by the monsters..

in the first ending, robert, anna and the kid were stuck in robert's underground lab and the monsters were there with him. he realizes that the cure is in the woman zombie's blood (the woman zombie was sedated and in there with them in the lab). he draws her blood and gives it to anna. he hides them in a safe in the lab. he grabs a grenade and kills himself together with all the zombie's in the place. the next day, anna and the kid go to the rumored safe haven for survivors which they find. happy ending.

the alternate ending, of course, is different. that's why it's alternate. it was originally thought up to be the ending but hollywood decided otherwise. in this ending, as the head zombie was banging on the glass door, he looked robert in the eye and made a "smudge" of a butterfly on the glass. neville realizes that the zombie girl has a butterfly tattoo on her arm. he let's anna open the door and he goes out with the zombie girl on the stretcher. she took of the sedatives and woke her up. then head zombie carries her out but roared at robert before that. robert falls to the ground, shaking and stares at his wall where countless pictures of "subjects" were posted. then, the next day, him, anna and th kid head of to the place anna said.

what's great about the alternate is because it sticks to the story in the book that says that robert seemed to be a killer to the zombies since he has abducted a lot of their kind. this is portrayed when robert was looking at his wall of pictures in the end. also, as said in the forum i read, the feeling you get throughout the movie that the zombies had something more to them was indeed correct. unlike in the theatrical ending where you don't really know why they were attacking robert. maybe they cared for the girl zombie, maybe not. what i didn't like about this ending was when they all went out in the car and drove off to wherever. like what i read, it was so family-y. however, i particularly liked the part where the robert got up close and personal with the zombies. that was scary. one last thing on this ending, the fact that robert lived even after the confrontation was weird. it gave me the impression that he just got away with something he shouldn't have. i don't know. but it really struck me as odd.

as a whole, i liked the movie so much and i believe no one else could've pulled off a one-man movie but will smith. i didn't like the fact that the girl suddenly arrives at the end and steals the spotlight. also, i got sad when sam died and i really wished she lived. i think will smith should've died but i think the alternate ending was better for the overall effect on the zombies. one question though, how'd anna and the kid get into new york and how'd they get out of it in the alternate ending in a car? wasn't the bridge blasted off when the city was contained?

realization

2008-02-24T15:15:00.000+08:00

i just realized that it's sad to know that some poeple who's friendship you value don't seem to value yours since every effort you give and show to bridge the gap in distance and time isn't even acknowledged..

and it's more sad to know that these are people you valued in your life..

it's a good thing i have a few great friends who value the friendship i give them..=)

a night with an old friend

2008-02-24T15:08:00.000+08:00

hahaha!! james!! salamat sa libre!!=)

ayun, saturday night, i went out with james. nagkita kami sa trinoma after ko mag-exam sa dose (don't ask how it went.. stupid exam..). andito siya sa qc kasi may contest chuva silang sinalihan sa org. chem something. hehe.=p ayun, sorry nga pala matagal ako. kasi naman, ang hirap makahanap ng jeep. andami kong kalaban. hahahaha.=p we ate dinner at heaven and eggs. i ordered pete's pigs in a blanket and ang order niya ay dearest bacon love eggs. hehehe.. memorized? nope, nasakin kasi mga resibo. hahaha.=p sarap ng strawberry milk nila..=) usap2x, bonding. naku, namiss ko na tong mokong na to. di kasi nagpapakita. kung di pa ko nag comment sa friendster mo, di ka pa magpaparamdam!=p hehehe. ayun, umikot2x kami pagkatapos namin mabusog sa dinner. we discovered how really expensive the third floor of trinoma is. hehe. sayang, maganda pa naman yung t-shirts sa david and goliath..pero come on! P995!? mahal kaayo..=( ayun, later on, sobrang naikot na namin yung mall kaya nag-iisip na kami ng gagagwin.. we didn't know what we want to drink, alcohol or coffee? ayun, naging in-between. nag max brenner kami (buti na lang meron na sa trinoma). ayun, he ordered cayenne and mine was chiapas. wah! sarap! yung kanya dark chocolate with something na may vodka. yung akin, white chocolate with strawberries and vodka. hehehehehe.=p happiness.=) tapos, na-displace nanaman kami kasi mag-cclose na sila.. ayun, tambay kami somewhere sa labas. usap nanaman. hehehe.=) tapos, later, gusto ko uminom ng something hot (nilalamig na ko eh). nag starbucks kami. buti na lang may nabakanteng table, kaya nakatambay kami sa loob. hehehe.=p usap nanaman ng super haba. ang dami nating napag-usapan noh? sabi mo nga, not in exact words pero pwede na, it's good to have friends na pwede mo balikan after how many years pero parang walang nangyari. parang nagrecess lang at balik nanaman sa kwentuhan. ang maganda sa mga ganyang kaibigan, di ka mahihiya pag nagkita kayo ulit. new experiences, new lives, same old friends..=) thanks for last night. i really had fun.=) sa uulitin.=)

eto nga pala ang nag-iisang picture for that night. hehe. busy sa pag-uusap eh.=p

valentine's day

2008-02-16T13:46:00.000+08:00

who is valentine? *laughing* i still wonder who he/she is and why this day of love is named after him/her. anyway, valentine's day is a day of flowers, smiles, hugs, kisses and mushy things. the people are either loving this day or hating it. but me? hahaha! it's the first time i experienced a valentine's day complete with flowers and dinner!=)

i slept late the night before so i woke up at around 11am. i texted jon and told him that i have to take a bath first then we could have lunch. i was already thinking that maybe he had a surprise for me or something but the two halves of my mind kept arguing with each other wether to expect or not. hahaha. but anyway, i wasn't disappointed. when i got down, i was surprised by a bouquet of flowers, three pink roses and lots of little white flowers that i don't know, and a yellow rose pastillas. hahahaha! he was supposed to give me yellow roses but the shop was out of it so they gave him a free yellow rose pastillas instead.=) i ate it already and it was yummy..=p for dinner, we were supposed to eat at the soup kitchen but when we got there, it was gone!=( so, we ended up walking around and trying to look for a good alternative restaurant for dinner.. we ended up at the spaghetti factory. we ordered mussels with cheese and spinach, tuna sandwich, pesto and __________ (umm, jon, i forgot your order.. hehehe). their pasta was great!=) after dinner, we went home.

so.. who is valentine?..

cute?

2008-02-01T17:37:00.000+08:00

hahaha!! i was chatting with ralph (pantonial) on y!messenger a while ago and he told me that he and a few batchmates nominated me as cutest batchmate. hahaha! i dunno what to say.=p but thanks guys. friends talaga tayo.. hahaha!!=p

..

2008-01-27T02:16:00.001+08:00

is it okay to think of someone your not supposed to be thinking of?
is it okay to miss someone your not supposed to be missing?
is it okay to be reminiscing stuff your not supposed to be reminiscing?

i'm being psycho nanaman..

love?

2008-01-25T20:29:00.000+08:00

do you believe that love disappears without a trace?
or
is love capable of changing its form?

even when love is buried beneath disregard and hate,
when it is forcefully forgotten to ease any pain..
a time will come when you are surprised by the suddenness of its come back.

and when you're feeling sentimental,
you try to remember that lost love..
even if it means bringing back the pain with it.